The Gray Place

In which I embrace my inner pimp.

Posted in General Me, WoW by mrfenris on March 26, 2010

My wife is convinced I broke my tail bone.  (Secret:  I’m starting to think she’s right.)  I fell down the steps here at home while coming downstairs.  I couldn’t fall on the last step.  Oh no, that would be amateurish .  I am a pro when it comes to falling down the steps and I went down like a ton of bricks flat on my back.  Next thing I know I can’t breathe and I’m staring up and my ceiling. My entire body feels like it was in a car crash (I am not a light individual.  It sounded like someone dumped a load of bricks down a flight of stairs).  That pain is okay for me to handle.  I just move slightly slower then normal but I also have this sharp stabbing pain in my tailbone “area”.  Its not constant but I can’t sit upright without it firing off.  Fact I can’t put any sitting weight on it without it screaming and me gritting my teeth.

She told me she could get my some “O” shaped pillow, that they have at the hospital so I could sit on it.  I declined the offer nicely by snapping at her that it wasn’t broke and to quite bothering me about it.  So now she has put me on /ignore.  Heaven help you if you refuse her help.  I did ask her to rub my butt where it was sore, but she won’t take me up on it.

This has given me a new “gangster” lean when I sit.  I am now so pimp a WoW player that I have a gangster lean.  In fact, I’m so leet that I can pimp lean on my left cheek to tank and I can pimp lean on my right cheek to heal.  The joys of being a Hybrid.

To further embrace my new-found pimpness I have started getting back into GTA 4.  Ahhh Rockstar Games, how I missed your “horribleness”.  Yes I am running over civvies, shooting people in the face, and helping drug dealers secure their territory.  It feels so good to run amok with wanton abandon and act like a complete douche bag.

Wife: “Honey do you want to watch Fringe?” (We DVR everything.)

Mrfenris: No answer.

Wife: “HONEY!” (She’s a subtle angel.)

Mrfenris: “what.” (I heard her the first time.)

Wife: “Do.  You.  Want.  To.  Watch.  Fringe?”

Mrfenris: “Well get the fuck out of my way!” (I just t-boned a car in-game.)

Wife: “This is why I don’t love you…”

Mrfenris: “Honey, the goddamn cops are chasing me and I’ve got 3 stars!”

It’s strange.  I enjoy horrible things about the game.  But I won’t shoot back at the police.  All the horrible things the game (and series) involves yet I draw the line at shooting at police officers.  I don’t say it with pride, because I enjoy walking up to the Chihuahua Hot Dog vendors and shoot them point-blank in the back of the head and robbing them.  I’m also weird about that in WoW.

I won’t do quests that involve attacking baby animals.  There’s that one quest in Dragonblight where you have to inoculate the polar bears against the plague and they aggro on you.  I always run away because I don’t want to kill the babies.  Weird.

Speaking of weird, thank God they are getting rid of weapon skill levels in Cataclysm.  I can’t tell you how depressing it is to get a new weapon type that you haven’t trained…

Gate Man: “Mrfenris the Paladin!  Slayer of Dragons, killer of Demons, Smiter of the Old Gods!  He who has killed many an AFK Alliance members and felled Giants!  Why-for do you leave this city with your new epic axe over your shoulder?”

Mrfenris: “Imma go kill sum bunnies.”

Gate Man: *looks shocked*

Mrfenris: “I gotta go level up my axe skill…”

Gate Man: “Oh right!  Good hunting sire!”

Pimping ain’t easy.

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5 Responses

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  1. miakoda said, on March 27, 2010 at 2:11 am

    Dang, you’ve had a rough week…first you get sick and then you break your ass. Slow down, old man!

    • mrfenris said, on March 27, 2010 at 1:49 pm

      And you wonder why I won’t leave the house.

      BTW. MrsFenris is pregnant. I think it might be mine. September 22.

      We call it McLovin. I have demanded it be a boy.

      • miakoda said, on April 6, 2010 at 3:36 am

        Wait, what? What? Another Fenris spawn? Well, your matching set is shot, but if it’s a boy at least your future caregivers will be gender-symmetrical in a bookend kind of way.

        Also: There goes the neighborhood. Again.

        Also-also: Congratulations!

        Also-also-also: DAMMIT. I just realized this restarts the Fenris-won’t-run-a-game-for-me-until-his-kids-move-out countdown. I may have to evict the little monkeys myself. ~.~

  2. Irmie said, on March 30, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    I broke my tailbone when I was in my early twenties. I highly recommend the donut pillow for sitting on. Once you get used to the wobble of it, the relief is immense. I still have one that I use for long car rides, since I never healed properly. Last summer’s meat fest – when we drove down the donut pillow was my best friend.

    Better to face the shame than bear the pain.

    • mrfenris said, on March 30, 2010 at 2:26 pm

      I believe I said…

      “Isn’t that what women who just gave birth sit on?”
      “Sometimes, it depends.” she said.
      “No. I don’t want one.”
      “Why not?”
      “Because I don’t have a vagina.”


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