The Gray Place


Posted in Gaming, General Me by mrfenris on April 11, 2010

Things in my life do not exist for very long.  It’s a pattern.  While I find my life slowing down in some aspects (I’ve lived here since 1991 that’s the longest I’ve ever been in one place) some parts of it are exploding (in a good way).  I still find myself uncomfortable at times and I could pick up and move in an instant.  It’s an odd sensation, it almost feels like my being is vibrating at a different frequency than my surroundings.

I am used to large parts of my life disappearing or stopping.  Friends, family, homes, hobbies, that’s just my schtick.  I remember the things that are gone, but I rarely miss them except in brief flashbacks.  It’s how I’m wired.  It’s amazing that I’ve been with my wife for over 13 years (Married 8?  I dunno I don’t keep track of such things) yet I honestly don’t feel out of sync with her.

Oh don’t get me wrong.  I’ve thought of places I could hide her chubby little body after I’ve killed her.  We’ve had bad times where we didn’t quite line up, but I’ve never needed to start over without her.  Maybe it’s because she’s chaotic like me.  Maybe it’s because of that thing people refer to as love.  I dunno.  Somethings are not meant to be understood, only felt.

My hobbies are getting ready to change again.  Come this September my wife is going to give birth to our third minion.  I plan on dropping down to just a casual member role in my guild.  I won’t be able to stay on as long or make set times.  (I don’t play while my kids are up, but babies tend to throw a big middle finger to your schedule).

I love babies.  It’s as close of an example to perfection that I’ve ever seen.  When their hungry they eat.  When their tired they sleep. When their pissed they scream.  Nothing clogs up their desires.  They haven’t become warped and shaped by the world.  Were born knowing the secret of universe and spend the rest of our lives forgetting it or hiding from it.

I may just drop down to single player PC games.  I’ve been kicking around buying a Xbox 360 lately and there are tons of great games for it.  I might got back and give Eve Online another stab and I’ve always got my eye on the Star Wars MMO (that’s a subject for a whole different day), but I think I’m about to get up and move away from MMOs.

Nothing bad.  Nothing Emo.  I’m just need some distance from relying on other people for my enjoyment.


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