The Gray Place

Stand there. Tank that.

Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on May 27, 2010

Boss tanking is boring and most days it takes basically zero skill.

Oh sure you get the one tank with the little dick that says “I’m the boss tank!” because he’s played since vanilla, he’s a Warrior with a chip on his shoulder, or he’s got .3% more dodge then you.  But by and large it takes very little talent to boss tank.

I played my tank nearly the entire two years I’ve played WoW.  Largely, I stand in one spot, use my cooldowns, maybe taunt off the other tank if I have to (like nearly every single ICC encounter).  On some encounters I tank the adds which basically consists of a little movement to grab em, then I stand still and tank them.  It’s not even that hard to hold threat on them these days.

There are very few encounters like Yogg Saron (Phase One is my favorite raid encounter ANYWHERE in the game, with the Abom driver in Professor Putrecide’s lab being second) in which you tank a mob AND move.  In phase one, you tank the mobs, dodge swirling gas clouds, and make sure the mob dies while standing next to the boss.

However those types of raid encounters are rare.  Most of the time you stand there and trust your healers to keep you up and your DPS to knuckle-drag their buttons (or worse…click) thru their rotations and beat the 10 minute enrage timer blah blah blah.  I swear I could sub my six-year-old in and tell him which buttons to push, in what order, and he could raid tank half the stuff in the game.

“Yeah just push those.  If someone stands in the fire you just press this key and say into the mic, “My Dad says get your dumb ass out of the fire.””

*Dad wanders off to make a sandwich*

This isn’t a anti-wow bit.  But I’m sitting here reflecting on how much fun it’s been to play my Hunter the past three weeks.  Oh sure I understand it’s all new to me, and I’m enjoying my “freedom”.  It’s like I was some captive, abused, and oppressed housewife from a movie who suddenly runs away from home, drives around a red convertible, and goes bareback with the swarthy Hector who lives in her apartment building and makes her “feel like a woman”.

It’s 10x more fun then standing in one spot while staring at a giant ass raid boss whose smooshing my face.  Seriously.  When I was tanking I never even got to see any artwork in the actual instances.  I’d always have this huge boss’s ankles in my face or if I was lucky his crotch.  Um.  Point being it wasn’t till I got to play my Hunter that I could see the actual decorations and notice little things, because I wasn’t watch 9 other players, I wasn’t watching my incoming heals, or I wasn’t watching my cool downs.

On my Hunter I get to run around the room, timing my shot timer, rocket booting, disengaging and doing all sorts of shit that I never got to do before.  Heck most of the raid encounters don’t even give tanks any fun debuffs they have to drop off or meet up with someone like the Blood Queen does.  You get turned into a freaking Vampire that encounter, how cool is that?  But not the tank.  He’s in the kitchen making a sandwich, while his kid is playing his character cus nothing cool ever happens to him.

Kid: “Dad…the rogue wants to hearth to Dal to get some gems for the dagger that just dropped…”
Dad: “Tell him to go fuck himself.  If it was important to him he should have brought the gems.”

Nope.  Don’t miss it at all.

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3 Responses

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  1. Derek the Cleric said, on May 27, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Part of tank boredom is DEFINITELY an ICC thing. There is no boss in ICC (up to Sindragosa, anyway) that requires as much of the boss tank as Razorscale, Mimiron, Thorim, Yogg-Saron, or Hodir. Or, for that matter, the Four Horsemen, Heigan, Instructor Razuvious… Even Malygos has a vehicle phase.

    And for what it’s worth, I still think Ignis and Gluth are harder on the add tank than anything in ICC.

  2. Andy said, on June 4, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Yep, this is precisely why I prefer to be off-tank in raids, because then at least I get to run around a bit. It’s also the reason I’m starting to wonder whether gearing my DK as a tank was the wisest decision ever. It feels like I’ve now got enough effective health and avoidance, and aiming for more won’t make that much difference to the raid. If I was DPS, on the other hand, the sky’s the limit with upgrades – the more damage you can do the better.

    • mrfenris said, on June 5, 2010 at 1:44 pm

      Yeah. People never used to understand why I enjoyed off-tanking better then main tanking.

      Interesting point. Also with the ICC buff maybe gear loses some of it’s “weight” in terms of progression.

      Before I would have killed for a piece with just a smidgen of better stats. Now I don’t hesitate to pass on it for someone else.

      as an aside. I think many tanks really under value good DPS. I used to love it when we had our “heavier” dps along. Makes my job tanking 10x easier. Less contact time with the enemy = less damage for me.


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