The Gray Place

Shellshocked Healers

Posted in Gaming, Preizt, Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on September 29, 2010

Healers are the goalies of World of Warcraft.

Once before my wife and my children HOOOOOOOOOBLITERATED my life, I played ice hockey.  (Right Defense to be precise.  You touch my goalie, I drill you into the ice.  Woot that rhymed.  I’m the Lyrical Gangsta.)

I played from when I was a kid all the way till I was a young, bright-eyed adult, full of promise, and hope.  Then I meet my wife and her ovaries and I became the burned-out, shell of a man that I am today.

Point being.  I’ve played awhile and due to my position I’ve played very closely to goalies.  I can say without a doubt that goalies are some of the weirdest, most neurotic, freaks I have ever met.  They have rituals, quirks, and these strange fevered eyes that roam around but never see anything but little black pucks being hurled at their nets.  They mutter, they stamp their feet, and they exist as beings of pure stored energy just waiting to explode into action or emotion.

I love them.  I have racked up penalty minutes for them.  I protect them.  (Oddly when I tank I feel the same way towards my healers.)  But sometimes I can’t stand them.  I can’t stand their inflexible quirks, their obsessive focus that makes them lose sight of the entire game and other players, and their pure nuttiness as they flit around like fragile ego’d butterflies in a thunderstorm.  You know they’re just waiting to rip off their face mask, their eyes bugged out and filled with madness, as they scream and throw themselves under the Zamboni.

That’s how I feel a lot of players who play healers are like.

“Don’t pull till I have full mana.”

“Don’t move till I’ve PoM you.”

“Don’t pull until I have 249804239 stacks of rejuv on you.”

“Don’t pull until I’m done drinking.”

“Death Knights, don’t death grip anything unless you’re the tank.”

“Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.”

Seriously.  It’s Heroic Violet Hold!?!?!  I have 90249k Health.  I don’t even NEED a healer.  Our DPS are pulling 12k each!  I normally don’t hear that many dont’s unless I’m trying to put the moves on my wife.  (Don’t judge.  If I was a quitter I wouldn’t have three kids.)

And now they get to add things like…

“stupid Blizz, if I wanted to DPS, I’d have rolled a DPS!”

…because of the Smite component of priest healing in Cataclysm.

Really?  Really?  Is it that hard to hit an extra button.  I’m so bored out of my skull when I’m healing as Disc in Heroics, I usually just switch to Shadow and DPS than heal as needed.  (Dungeon and tank dependant of course.)

Healers I understand you’ve got a lot of pressure on you.  But seriously,  lighten up Francis.  If someone gives you shit because they stood in a whirlwind and died and they’re giving you grief over it, tell them to eat shit and die.  If your tank is overpulling and can’t survive on his own, then guess what?  9/10 he’s a BAD tank.

Take a deep breath.  Heal your party.  Stop rocking back and forth between the pipes and enjoy the game a bit.

Serious.  Your going to go all Fist of the North Star and blow a vein in your head.  I know Ulduar and TOTGC, stretched you out, with twitch/spam/spike healing.

It’s okay little guy.  *holds out a candy bar* Come on out of your hole.

Cataclysm is supposed to fix it.

What’s the point of stereotyping if it isn’t offensive and immature?

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Monday Musings

Posted in General Me, Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on September 27, 2010

You ever randomly hook back up with an ex-girlfriend and suddenly she’s way hotter than she used to be?

That’s the way my new video card is making me feel about Grand Theft Auto IV.  The shadows, the diffused lights, the smoothness of the shitty un-re-mappable keyboard controls.  It’s beautiful and exciting once again.

And like that ex-girlfriend it’s worth hitting one more time.  Although Niko Bellic doesn’t giggle when I do that “one thing” with my tongue.

The last Discipline Priest pass by the devs made we want to stay Disc.  I still like what they’re doing with Holy, but if the new health pool size and incoming damage mechanics are really going into effect, then Disc looks awesome to me.

WTB Smite splash heals.

Final numbers are final.  And of course they aren’t final yet, but I feel like the fog is lifting.

My oldest son now plays Starcraft 2 more than I do.  I am not surprised.  The blood of many micromanaging control freaks runs deep in his veins.  He’s been devouring games like chess, Go, and Chinese Checkers lately.  I should buy him Civilization V for his upcoming birthday and then steal it.  Pwned nub, now go to your room and think about it.

I always take pride in my children but I’m never smug about them.  The oldest while extremely bright is just as bat shit crazy as his mother.  The middle while extremely random and genuine is just a big of a diva as her mother.  The newborn while fun to snuggle and play with, just plain has issues and has cost me over $300,000 in bills.  Just like his mother.

I figure one will grow up and shoot up a school, one will be featured on girls gone wild, and one will be a recluse and build pipe bombs in my basement.  It’s a toss-up on which does which.

Which is why I don’t get smug like the Smiths and their little Timmy.  Real life has a way of colliding with your smug face at 80 mph with a Mack truck.

Better to be honest and laugh (or weep and drink) it off.

I joined a new guild.  I am once again the new kid.  Second ICC 10 team Disc Priest reporting for duty sir.  I signed up for tonight’s raid.  Lets see if I make the cut.  If not, no big deal.  There’s lots of free porn on the internet.

Fringe is back on TV.  WOOT.  Olivia Dunham is one of my favorite female main characters of all time.  The actress (Anna Torv) does an excellent job of portraying intelligence, strength, and a hidden vulnerability all at the same time.  When I watch it I don’t even think of the character as a gender.  I just see Olivia Dunham FBI Agent.

Of course I have some issues with the plot lately, but right now it’s the only thing my wife and I watch together.  Of course her Supernatural series (v2.0, das reboot) is back and I’ll watch it with her while I do paperwork, but it’s nothing I set time aside to watch.  Although we do watch the soap opera Days of our Lives together.  Nothing set in stone, but I like to urge the characters along with a “pimp her!” or “pimp him!” now and then.

I tried doing Malygos with a pug because it was the weekly.  I left an hour into it.  I stayed an hour too long.  But it made me realize I didn’t miss playing my Hunter after my month plus off.  I thought for sure I’d miss the faceroll but I didn’t.  I haven’t even been PvPing with him, instead I’ve been using my Rogue.

Why am I not looking forward to larger hit point pools in PvP on my rogue?  Oh wait, because stun locks/bursts are the only way I can kill anything now.  Rogues look “more” fun to level in Cataclysm then they were back in the day.  But there’s nothing that excites me about the Rogue Cataclysm changes.  (Is fixing Vanish a “change”?)

What I wanted Rogues to get?  I dunno.  That’s not my job.

Meh.

Guild Dead: DNR

Posted in General Me, WoW by mrfenris on September 21, 2010

The Crux-

It looks like for all intents and purposes my guild is no longer a functional guild.  It nearly hit it’s three-year anniversary mark, which like “dog years” doesn’t equal 1 year per 1 year.  According to the latest math at Elitist Jerks, in WoW years, that makes it about 257-331 years old depending if you gem for armor pen or not.  Not too bad.

I don’t care about the reasons as to why it’s in the shape it is, what or who happened, or even how it could have been avoided.

I think it needed to happen (actually truth be told I think it needed to happen sooner).  Everything has an end to it.  It was an awesome ride and I had an absolute blast being with it from start to finish.  I have no regrets and will remember it fondly.

The Free Fall-

Of course now a bunch of people are in free fall and scrambling around deciding what to do.  Some have lined up guild spots on other servers, some have jumped ship into other guilds on our server, some are waiting to see what everyone else does, some are talking about starting their own guild, some of us are just waiting till Soonaclysm to make our move, some are gonna stay in our guild even though the GM said she had no plans for anything organized in the future.  Some, some, some, some.

I think I have a unique perspective, since I have always tried to keep myself at an arms distance from the guild.  (sometimes it even worked).  I am a loner by nature.  I observe, dissect, and interact on my terms.  I try to avoid herd mentality and knee jerk reactions.  (again sometimes it even works.)  Even through my days as a GM, Raid Leader, and Officer I always tried to keep things “loose and clean” because I knew this day would come.

That isn’t meant to sound superior.  It just “is”.

The Plan-

Everyone is laying out their plans on where they want to end up.  I keep getting offers, questions, advice, and suggestions (even though I don’t ask for advice) on what I should do.  These are people I’ve known for over 2 years.  Some I’ve met in real life, others are real life friends of mine, some I just know by their cliché fantasy name.

Some are angry, some are blissfully unaware of just how much they were carried and now their acting righteous *snicker*, some are disheartened, some don’t care at all.  There’s a few of us that I think are ready for whatever comes next, with no ill feelings either way.

I’m in a very flexible spot at the moment.

1.  I don’t need anything.  People, raids, gear, company, friends, etc.  I try to be self-sustaining.  When that doesn’t work I turn to booze and loose women.  Albeit my loose women quota has dropped since being married.  Well at least down to just one, she being my wife.

2.  I don’t care about guild oriented things like the new guild abilities.  Vanity pets?  Don’t care.  Mounts?  Don’t care.  Tabard?  Don’t care.  Unless it raises my DPS, HPS, or Effective Health….I don’t care.  Period.

3.  My lifestyle (ribbed for her selfish pleasure) doesn’t fit srs WoW right now.  I can’t raid with any frequency anytime soon.  I don’t plan on making a mad dash to 85 in Soonaclysm.  I can dink around and PvP or practice different specs as I kill time and unwind playing a video game as it fits my “life load”.

4.  I will never put as much personal effort into another guild as I did with my old one.  Nothing bitter.  I had more time and “needs” back then.  I don’t now.  It’s simple.  I just want to be a good player and have some fun at the end of the day.

So when I tell everyone I really don’t know what I’m going to do now that we’re “dead”, I really do mean that.  I’m not being coy or sitting on the fence.  I really dont know what I’m going to do and I don’t NEED to know.

Most likely I’ll just start over somewhere brand new on another server with my level one Goblin Prot Warrior and see what comes my way.  One day I’ll get back into raiding again, but for the time being I just want to play a video game.  Maybe I’ll try the Alliance and see how the rich kids live. Those damn Joneses on the North side have all the coolest toys and the cops don’t hassel them when they walk down the street.

The Dread-

Is that my penis falls off.

Seriously.  We spend a lot of time together.  I’d miss him, slight bend and all.

Other than that biggie, it’s my sincere hope that things don’t turn personal and people start getting bitchy with one another.  I don’t want to hear about the drama of what caused what, who always sucked anyway, how it should have been handled, and whose on whose side.  I’ve seen it happen in the past, I’ve heard rumblings about it, I don’t want any damn part in it.

The last 2+ years have been a blast and while I will always reflect on things that could have been better, I don’t have any regrets about how things went.  I consider everything a learning experience, especially the part where I was drug face first along a gravel road behind a truck while a pack of pit bulls bit my genitals or as I call it…raid leading a guild of “socials”.   I still twitch whenever I think about Heigan.

The TLDR-

My guild is dead.  I have no idea of what I’m going to do.

And you know what?

It feels great.

Me So Hordey

Posted in Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on September 17, 2010

I have a fan boy confession to make.

I don’t like Alliance players.

I think your all soft.

In the real life, I don’t dislike people who are “opposite” of me.  I enjoy people who vote differently then I do.  People who believe in things I don’t.  I like people who aren’t like me.  One of my closest friends used to be a guy who was a long-haired 80’s metal throwback, extremely soft-spoken, vegetarian, and one of the most polite people I’ve ever met.  One of the reasons we got on so well is we were complete opposites.  (Well that and because he was taller than myself or my wife and when he’d come over she’d make him be useful and get down things from the top shelf for us short people.  It’s was a bitch waiting to refill the napkin holder until he came back over.  Motherfucker had dirty hands yo.)

Anyway.

I find strength in the conflict of personalities, ideas, and beliefs.  It’s in this scrum that I think we find out who we really are and who someone else really is. Yet oddly enough there are certain “oppositional” subcultures I can’t stand.  (I’m looking at you Chicago sports fans.)

Blizzard has done a fantastic job in giving some of us a team-like identity with the Horde and Alliance.  I see people wearing faction clothing, owning faction specific license plates, faction tattoos, faction birthday cakes, etc.  During Wrath’s launch we saw people dress up in costumes, shout “For the Horde!” at their Alliance counterparts, and even swig red or blue Mountain Dew is accordance with their allegiance.  Craziness.  You don’t even see that level of commitment at NFL games.

Even though pro-sports fans may paint their faces, have Nascar numbers on their cars, and sing their teams songs on the way to the pub, they don’t have their own specific flavor of soda.  (FYI “Horde” Mountain Dew raises your DPS…it also makes you pee blood and your kidneys disintegrate.)

So I’m sitting here asking my self why I illogically and narrow-mindly believe that all Alliance players are soft panty waists.  (Who the fuck came up with the term Panty Waist anyway?  I think that’s my next guild name.)  I mean I KNOW this isn’t true.  (Yes it is.)

I think it’s because I identify with certain aspects of the Horde that I just can’t find in the Alliance.  To me the Alliance are a bunch of blue, bland, white guys, sitting around waiting for an old biddy’s cat to get stuck in a tree so they can rescue it then tug on their yonks about how good and virtuous they are.

Give me the flawed, fatalistic, chip on their shoulder, long-suffering Horde any day.  They’ve been Demonic slaves, murderers, prisoners, and rebels.  For fun they chop down forests, burn villages, and leave their socks in the bathroom.  These are guys I wanna hang out with.

I find nothing three-dimensional and “human” about the Alliance.  I just can’t get into them.  Boring ass NPC white people.  (Nothing wrong with white folks mind you.  I’m a half-breed, fairly “white” myself, and I married a white girl so I could get better interest rates from the bank.  No.  Seriously I just married her for her credit score and her smart genes.  I’m hoping my kids go back to the near-dark side now they I’ve done my genetic/economic pillaging.)

Anyway.

Yeah.  I just can’t get into the Alliance.

mrfenris: “Hey cool shirt.”
stranger: “Thank’s it’s a video game.  I’m a gamer.”
mrfenris: “Oh cool me too!  What do you play?”
stranger: *sheepishly* “I play World of Warcraft…”
mrfenris: “Oh shit!  Me too!  What server!??”
stranger: *excited* “I play on Trollnipple, I’ve got an Alliance druid, paladin and priest!”
mrfenris: “Oh.”
stranger: “What’s wrong?”
mrfenris: “Nothing.  Can I get a number 1 supersized with a diet Pepsi?”

Alliance are just so…so…so “dry humpy”.  Whereas to me the Horde is like a crazed mix of snorted cocaine, Barry White, Fight Club, and Gianna Micheals.

At least that’s what I think of.

No sleep till Brooklyn

Posted in General Me, Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on September 16, 2010

Ophelia over at the Bossy Pally has written the best post yet on her titty.  Awesome. I can’t be bothered to link to it.

Three hours sleep last night.  Yay.  I am at the point of sleep deprivation where you start seeing things out of the corner of your eye that aren’t really there.

I see you, you movey-shadow-shape-thingy.  It’s trying to sneak up on me I think.

I have no played WoW in over a month and can’t decide if I miss it or not.  Furthermore I can’t decide what I miss about it the most.

Here goes.

I miss PvP.  Along those lines I can’t understand why I hate to heal in PvP.  Oh wait.  Healing idiot guild mates is bad enough.  Healing idiot strangers is worse.

I do not miss raiding.  I miss the possibilities raiding brings.  My guild’s quality of raiding has suffered due to player burnout, real life, and general end of the expansion casual sex.

Guildie One: “Do you wanna do Lower Spire tonight or just go to bed?”
Guildie Two: “I guess we can, but I’m warning you.  I’m just gonna lay there in the fire and let you do all the work.”

I miss the potential of what raiding used to be for two reasons.  1.  We don’t have “it” right now.  2.  I couldn’t raid right now anyway.  Between work, the new baby, the earlier mistakes er I mean the older kids, and general husband type stuff I barely have time at night to take a shower and eat before I fall asleep watching the Bad Girls Club.

I figure it’ll be several months before I even try to jump back into raiding.

I don’t miss random heroics for badges, I’ve never liked questing, I don’t do dailys, I don’t grind up a million alts, I don’t do trade skills (when I need money I just flip stuff on the AH), I don’t do vanity pets or mounts, I don’t sit around and BS in trade chat.  (I just noticed all the things I don’t do are everything other MMO players call “fun”.)

I miss my priest.  I really liked healing on my priest.  I’ve been keeping up with the Soonaclysm healing and priest changes pretty well.  I plan on going back to Holy come Soonaclysm.  Wrath Disc was more interesting to me then the Wrath Holy was, but Cata Holy is more interesting than Cata Disc is shaping up to be.

I miss the people in my guild.  I miss the social aspect of it.  However I do not miss the playing aspect of it.  I’ve realized that lately I’ve been pugging a lot of runs and raids on my own and PvPing on my own just because I enjoy different playing experiences then my guild provides.

I don’t like my server, but I’m not bitter about it.  I knew what kind of server it was when I rolled on it.  I think my interests have shifted.

I am looking forward in Cataclysm to trying out some of the new zones and can’t wait to start my Goblin Prot warrior.  I just don’t know what server to roll him on.  Do I do the realm research, sit in their trade, talk to its players or do I just fat finger the random button and see where I land?  Either way, about the only character I’d think about transferring off server is my Priest.  1.  I’m cheap.  2.  My Pally, Hunter, DK, and Rogue don’t strike me as irreplaceable.  My priest does.  Hey you try healing your way through four Death Knights in every LFG in Outlands…it builds character and ulcers.

I actually don’t even have a working desktop right now.  No Dragon Age: Origins, no Grand Theft Auto IV, no Mass Effect, no Starcraft II, no porn on the 24 inch screen.  I think it’s the video card.  I just threw it at my repair guy and was all like “u fix it” and left.  I can’t be bothered to talk to mere mortals when I’m in “Gogogogogo” mode.

I miss my son.  I haven’t seen him in a few hours.  Even though I know he’s sitting at home with a sexy chubby red-head, getting boob, and sleeping all day safe and sound (well till he tries to stop breathing and like…die on us *shakes fist* Curse you baby!)  I still miss him.

I love babies.  I find them astonishingly perfect.  Everything they need to know to live they are born with.  They understand  everything and nothing all at once (perfection).  It’s as we get older we forget and get sidetracked from what really matters.

Although at the moment I’d trade Satori for something to eat and a two-hour nap.  Oh wait.  That is Satori.

Nevermind.

FanFic #1

Posted in FanFic by mrfenris on September 13, 2010

Part I-

In the crisp autumn morning the finest members of Gray’s Corps laid atop a small rise in the Arathi Highlands and watched in horror as the temple below them was being looted.  Perhaps the term “the finest” is stretching it for the sake of starting off this yarn.  Case in point the commander of the Gray Corps was rumored to be an excommunicated Blood Elf Paladin, the Troll mage was hung over from the previous night in Tarren Mill, and their Orc Shaman was mumbling something in a strange tongue as he rummaged in his bag of pungent mushrooms looking for another one to munch on.  They had sent their Hunter to scout ahead of them and were awaiting her return.  Behind them, further down the hill, stood an assortment of mounts and a team of mules drawing a “newly acquired” wagon whose sole content was a large ill-behaved sheep in a wooden cage.  The sheep glared hatefully at the dozing Troll mage.

Perhaps the term “horror” is also ill-used as the members of Gray’s Corps weren’t horrified by much with the exception of meeting up with the Arathi Stromgarde Militia and instead perhaps the better word to describe their feelings would be envious, since they themselves had looked forward to looting the temple for themselves.

“Bloody thieves!”, hissed the pale green-eyed Blood Elf who had been known only as Gray the past few hard years.  Rumors abounded in the Corps that he was the bastard son of a politically powerful family in Silvermoon.  Others spoke in hushed whispers that he was a former servant of Kael’Thas Sunstrider until his masters demise.  And even quieter whispers spoke of a former pious Paladin reduced to mercenary work after being driven out of the Church of Light over some sacrilegious act.  The degrees of sacrilege involved varied depending on who was telling the story.  What was known by the members of the Corps was that their commander Gray was a man worthy of respect and obedience.  At least while the coin was coming in as steady as a stream.  As of lately the coins followed more in the manner of a dribble of urine that a drunk old man had produced against an alley wall.

Gray rolled over and stared into the sky in frustration.  If he had been alone he might have beat fists against the hard ground and screamed into the clear sky.  He eyed the half sleeping blue skinned troll named Va’juju next to him.  The smell of wine and worse rolled off the troll’s exhaled breathes.  Once a promising student of the Arcane, Va’juju found himself more interested in the mysteries of the Drag in Orgrimmar where he learned the arts of women, wine, women, and gambling.  After a few brief and painful run ins with several criminal organizations he found himself “happily” serving with Gray’s Corps as they traveled across the globe and far-far away from the Drag.  He opened up one sleepy purple eye as Gray kicked him in the shin.

“Ja be wantin’ da boom booms now den Commandah?”, Va’juju asked sleepily in a hopeful rich melodic voice. He slowly tried to rise to an elbow but sank down under the weight of his hangover.  He yawned instead and picked at something on one of his yellow stained tusks.  He loved the boom booms.

“No.  No fireballs, but I want your ass awake in case anyone’s tries to boom boom us, got it?”

“Ja Commandah, Va’juju feels jah.” Va’juju rolled over in his stained robe and managed to sit up, only throwing up in his mouth a little.  “Urpp.  Dat fosacken wine be nah good da secon’ time jah taste it”.  He tried to bring his array of prepared spells forward past the cloud that the wine left, but nothing would come to the surface of his mind.  Instead he put on as serious of a face he could muster and muttered and moved his hands and fingers about.  “Va’juju put a countahspell on us Commandah.  We be safe fah now.”, he lied.

“Good.”

Gray turned the other direction and found himself looking into the slitted, barely open eyes of Durn Rocktalker an Orc Shaman he had met nearly ten years ago in a Silvermoon alley.  Gray had thought Durn dead as he had rummaged through the orc’s pockets but was amazed to find him merely stoned out of his mind.  Rumor had it white-haired much older Durn used to be a powerful Shaman of note in the Horde but had suffered one too many bad Ancestral Recalls in his youth and lost most of his mind.  What remained of his mind was often under influence of his elixirs, herbs, and foul-smelling smoke that he blew from his pipe.

“Do you understand what makes the sky useful Commander Gray?” The old Orc asked in his oddly mellow but deep voice.  The Corps members always ignored his crazed ramblings.  The green-skinned Durn rubbed the white stubble that covered his face making the bones and bits that were sewn into his armor clack and tinkle like a bizarre wind chime.

“I don’t care.  Cast a cleansing chant on Va’juju before we get started.  I don’t want his hangover getting me killed.” Gray reached down and absent-mindedly tightened a strap on his chest piece.

“It is because it is empty, Commander.” The grizzled orc reached and picked a dried flower that had been hung from his frayed belt.  Murmuring a prayer to the spirits of the sky he gestured in Va’Juju’s direction and heard the troll’s audible sigh as his hangover was lifted.  Gray opened his mouth to say something however was interrupted by his returning scout’s thick and oddly sensuous voice from out of nowhere.

“Pity it cannot cure the mage of his crabs.”

Gray rolled forward to find himself staring into the eyes of the hyena named Tickles.  Tickles’s ugly yellow eyes stared back and it gave soft high-pitched whine that sounded like a painful laugh.  He looked to the mangy beast’s right and found Tehanna the Orc Huntress crouched behind a large rock.  “Call your beast back to you.  He smells worse than Va’juju.” The female Orc gave a low growl and Tickles gave a short barking laugh and went and sat by her.

“Va’juju’s crabs don be jah concen ghirl.  Unless jah be wantin’ a bit o’ mah blu bone in jah ghreen puddin.” Va’juju sounded half hopeful.

Tehanna’s only reply was her pet Tickles taking three quick steps forward with its head lowered and a low growl in its throat.

“Enough.  We’ve got a job to do.  Teh what did you see?”

“Not much commander.  I tracked at least twenty men, horse, and wagons headed to the south past the temple.  Fresh-like.” As she spoke she moved one of her many thin black braids back behind her green ear.  Gray supposed for an Orc she was considered attractive.  She was skinnier then most squat female orcs, but her green skin covered powerful corded and knotted muscle.  Her flat face was crowned with a pair of almond-shaped eyes that took away the breath of many males.  She served with little complaint and was probably the most competent member of the Corps.  Gray knew she just stuck around to keep an eye on her great-uncle Durn.  “I counted as many as eight people at the temple.  Most likely the wagons headed south hold whatever you brought us here for.”

Gray did not like the way the marksman’s eyes seemed to look into his soul.  He always felt like she was able to see through his schemes.  In truth he himself barely knew what they were doing out here.  Most of the coin the company earned came from mercenary work in the Arathi Basin helping to secure often disputed lumber mill and farm land from the Alliance.  The Horde did not hold mercenaries in high regard so Gray’s Corps often supplemented their income on side jobs as they appeared.  He had caught wind of this temple being severely undermanned due to most of its priests being called to Northrend to fight against the Scourge.

“It’s known by the locals as the Temple Stone, an old Dwarven temple abandoned during the Troll Wars.  It’s mostly used by the local miners and farmers to beg the Light to deliver them from their dreadful and horrible little peasant lives and sheep buggery.” Gray left out the part where it wasn’t really abandoned by the Dwarves so much as they were rumored to have been eaten by something they had unearthed in the lower chambers of the temple.  No use in mentioning it since it really wasn’t “confirmed”.

“It sounds like their offerings will be of grain and salt then.” Tehanna mentioned lightly.

“Gems and jewels no doubt.” Countered Gray.  “Of the eight remaining what’s their make up?”

“Odd assortment of footman, archer or two, maybe a spellcaster of some sort.  Oh and a pack of Gnolls.”

What da Gnolls be about den?” Va’juju asked as he looked back over his shoulder as if the beast-like humanoids were sneaking up behind them at that very moment.

“Unsure.  One of the Archers has them on a chain leash.  These look like some sort of soldiers Commander, not your usual bandits.” She didn’t add the “like us” part.

“No matter.  They’ve got no idea we’re here.  What we don’t want is them alerted and holing up in the temple.  Looks like two men could hold that doorway forever, side by side.” Gray waited for a split second for Tehanna to ask why they didn’t just forget the temple and head south after the wagons.  He had thought of it but now he was curious why they’d be leaving men behind.  “We’ll go after the wagons later.” He added.  And with more men, he thought.

“Alright.  We’re light on troops so we do this in the sly.  Tehanna I want you up here on this ridge.  You give us some cover as we head down from the east.  See if you can draw those Gnolls out.  Va’juju your with me and NO fireballs inside.” Va’juju looked very disappointed.  “Durn you hang back a few ticks then follow us.  We might need some of your heal chants and mojo.”

“All you need Commander, you were born with.”
Durn philosophized.

“Right…Alright everyone got it?  You two.  East with me.” The trio headed along the ridgeline quieter then one would believe.  Gray led the way in his matte gray plate armor, his plain gray tunic and shield bore no crest or decoration.  He quietly drew an oddly dark broadsword, which bore a finely wrought hilt and crossbar and it’s long flat black blade seemed to drink in the sunlight and give away no flash of steel.  Va’juju followed barefoot, his two-toed feet leaving marks in the soil.  The mage moved surprisingly quiet, holding his gnarled wooden staff low as he loped along.  Durn brought up the rear a few yards behind, he walked along contentedly and seemed fascinated at the long grasses that swayed alongside of him and he reached out to touch something that only he could see.

Back atop the ridge Tehanna growled lowely at Tickles and watched the Hyena head down towards the temple.  She tested the pull on her wood and bone recurve bow which had been in her clan for generations.  Translated loosely into common it’s name meant “Elf Killer”.  She breathed calmly and adjusted the quiver of arrows on her hip, sorting her various arrows by their different colored feltchings.  She drew two fletched with a bright green Wyvern feathers and held them between three of her fingers.  She looked towards Gray for his signal that he was ready, saw it, and gave a low whistle to start their attack.

Tickles hearing the command, walked up to the entrance of the temple and proceeded to pee in the open doorway.  Then all hell seemed to break loose.

To be continued…

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Posted in Uncategorized by mrfenris on September 10, 2010

The last three weeks have been an insane life changing roller coaster.  I can’t even fathom trying to express it.  Besides… it’s mine.  Trying to convey it properly would be like describing a painting to a blind person.  I think people want to share too much these days anyway.  I mean really.  Deep deep deep down do you really care?

So.

Yeah.

Adam over at the Noisy Rogue pretty much hit it on the head a few posts ago on his titty.

I’m not interested in talking/writing about WoW right now.  I’m not interested in talking about Soonaclysm.  Heck I don’t even have an active account at the moment.  So I think I’m gonna give the original intent of this titty a spin.  In the coming days I’ll be posting the first bit.

But here’s a rough draft.

WarcraftfanfictionfanfictionfanfictionfanfictionfanfictionfanfictionJaina’spantiesembarressingprematureejectulaction.

Some people aim for A+ greatness.  Me.  I’m happy with B pulp writing.