The Gray Place


Posted in Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on October 28, 2010

It’s amazing to me that people are in such a huge hurry for Cataclysm.  They want their new quests, new instances, new races, new levels, new raids, and they want it NOW.

They wanted the same thing when Wrath was about to ship.

Yet most of these same folks now sit around Dalaran and lament about how boring Wrath is.  How all the content is stale and how easy lolheroics are.  They whine and bite their pillows wondering aloud “what am I supposed to write about” on their blogs.  (Nothing you tools.  You are not “supposed” to do anything.  Wankstas.)  On a side note I wonder how many of these Heroic Heroes have actually done Uld hardmodes or even seen Yoggzilla, instead skipping right to the Trial of the Lootfest because Heroic Mimiron “wuz hard and the loot sux”.

SO what’s the big hurry?  Your just going to be bored and emo when you’ve killed Deathwing a million times.  Your going to complain about 5 mans being too easy (forget that your pimped out in raid gear).  Your just going to complain that there’s nothing left to do in game and you’ll look to SWTOR to deliver you from the crushing weight that is WoW, with the hope and gleam in your eyes of an Iowa farm girl who just got off the bus in Vegas.  Little do you know you’ll soon have your ID’s stolen by your future pimp and you’ll be turning tricks for sweaty business men to work off your “debt”.  You’ve only traded your old shitty life (WoW) for a new shitty life (SWTOR).  Grats.

I’m tired of zee bloogozphere.  I’m tired of the “bloggers” (most of them).  I’m tired of the ego.  The envy.  The popularity contests.  The demand for attention and recognition by Blizzard.  Most of them seek to entertain their “fans”, driving their hit count, pandering like whores in order to drive “conversations”.

“What am I supposed to talk about?”

Nothing, motherfucker.

Which in hindsight makes me sound like an ignorant prick.  But I’m not a prick.  Ignorant I might bite on.  But a prick I won’t.  (see what I did there?)

I’m actually one of the nicest people I know.

I don’t think I EVER want to tank a raid boss again.  It’s boring.  A long time ago Larissa linked to a post I wrote where I described raid tanking as being boring and staring at boss crotch all day.  Of course this was followed by some folks snarking about how “good” tanks spin their camera, blah blah, yadda-yadda, etc.  Why do people focus on throw away comments anyway?  I’d “tank” 95% of you fuckers into the GROUND.  I don’t just tank mobs…I AM THE MOBS.

Anyway getting back to topic at hand, boss tanking still strikes me as one of the most boring things ever.  I can think of maybe 2 fights in Wrath I enjoyed tanking.

Yogg was one.  Proffesor Putracide/Abom Driver was the other.

However I do miss tanking trash and the control and flow that a good tank brings to a run.  Any monkey can tank 95% of the bosses in Wrath.  They just need to do their single target threat “rotation”, pop some cooldowns, and eat nachos, while the rest of the party does the work.

It occurred to me last night mid-raid that I am officially a healer.  Like I heal people and stuff.  Their life bar goes down and like Viagra I make it go up again.  I even have two heal specs.  In my old guild I always felt like a tank who was just moonlighting as a DPS or a Healer until we needed me to tank again.

Someone once described my blog as “uhhh”.  It’s the best compliment I ever got, thank you beautiful.  I say that as a mostly happily married man.

Who hasn’t touched boob in like 3 months except for coping a feel on the sides.

Damn baby.  I’m trying to get my swerve on.


The Ultimate 4.0 Holy Priest Guide

Posted in Preizt, WoW by mrfenris on October 20, 2010

Yesterday I saw a young mother with her three small children on the side of the road.  She could have used a little help.  I did not stop.  Instead I turned and kept going.  I wished I had a good reason I didn’t stop.  I just don’t feel like I have the capacity to reach out to anyone or anything right now.  These last two months have used up anything I’ve had.

I wish I could blame it on the fact that I’m largely broken as a person, I wish I could blame it on the “thing that I can’t talk about”, I wish I could blame it on being tired and distant.

But I can’t.  Point blank, I should have stopped.

The Smite/Atonement Discipline Priest build seems crude and clunky.  I think that’s largely a result of Smite being direct and vanilla.

Smite as a spell is largely boring.  I press this key, it fires of a chunk of raw direct damage, the end.

Then when you wrap a mechanic around it, it almost becomes this hard clunky metal box wrapped in tissue paper, it’s hard edges tearing out of the gift wrap.

The timing of it feels all wrong.  Smite, smite, smite, smite, quick activate Archangel before your stacks drop, etc.  I think the stacks need to have a longer cooldowns themselves.  The mechanic doesn’t feel integrated into the game.  Instead it feels copy pasted.

I’m sure the fanboys are clamoring for me to defend myself with a better idea, so here it is.

“Dear Blizzard:  Make something that I like better.”

What?  It’s not my job to develop video games.  That’s what I pay them for.

I will be keeping my Disc spec but I will speccing out of the Smite/Atonement build.

I love Holy.  Love it.

I hear people describe it as confusing and I’m puzzled.  Lots of things confuse me in life.  Women, anime, math, all sorts of stuff.  But the new Holy spec is far from confusing in my opinion.

Here’s an abridged version for all you cunfuddled players out there.

Mrfenris’s Guide to Holy Priests 4.0-

1. Chakra.  Press it before you cast Prayer of Healing, Renew, Heal, or lolSmite.

2. If you cast PoH in step one you have bleu circle things at your feet.  You are in AOE healing Chakra mode.  Top the meters and giggle.  You can also cast Holy Word: Chastise and drop an awesome AOE heal on the floor so your DPS can stand in it and the fire.

2a. If you cast Renew in step one you have green circle things at your feet.  You are in Renew healing Chakra mode.  Go out of mana and QQ on the forums.  You can also cast Holy Word: Chastise and it magically turns into the HoT Holy Word: Aspire.

2b. If you cast Heal in step one you have douche colored circle things at your feet.  You are in Douche healing Chakra mode.  You can also cast Holy Word: Chastise which turns into Holy Word: Douche, which is what you are for using the suckass Heal spell before Cataclysm.

2c. If you cast lolSmite in step one you have red colored circle things at your feet.  You are in lolSmite damage Chakra mode.  Smite your way into 2k DPS and obviously you’re not needed as a healer and you should have gone Shadow.  You can now also cast Holy Word: Chastise like my mother used to when I was less than perfect.

There.  That’s all you need to know about Holy 4.0.

Of course it broke.

Posted in General Me, Preizt, WoW by mrfenris on October 14, 2010

Burned out from tanking, bored in-game, and having an overall short attention span I decided to roll a priest one day.

Having only ever healed as a Holy Paladin…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  *snort* Oh sorry.  Fell asleep.  Yeah that’s how much fun it was.

Anyway having only healed on a Holy Paladin, I had heard about how good priests were hard to find.  My old guild had always been a short bus guild that had odd make ups in our roster (one night we only had Rogues and Hunters for DPS in our raid) and had never had a Priest for very long.

Furthermore I had heard it be said that Holy Priests were difficult to master and decided that’s what I wanted to be.  I was immediately intrigued because Holy Paladin’s had only 3 heals at the time and Priests had 10,391.

Resto Druids seemed a dime a dozen and for some weird reason I can never get a Druid past 30.  Resto Shaman looked interesting but I was really attracted to the fact that Priests had two separate specs devoted to healing.

So there I sat in front of the character selection screen.  I immediately selected Blood Elf and let me tell you why.  It’s not the flowing hair, it’s not the models, it’s not the racial abilities.

It’s the starting zone.  There was no way in hell I could take another Orc, Troll, Forsaken, or Tauren through the Barrens or Brill.   Can’t do it.  Won’t do it.

The Silvermoon and Ghostlands zones were newer as of TBC, designed better as their quests are centrally located, and overall much quicker in leveling speed.  That’s why I picked a Blood Elf.  I’ll prob switch to a Goblin when I’m able too.

So I sat there trying to think of a name.  I honestly don’t put much thought into such things, I just have a few rules.

1.  It has to be four letters long.  Quirk.  (Likewise all my children have names that can be broken down into three letters.)

2.  It has to start with an “S”.  (My Hunter is the only character I have that doesn’t start with an “s”).

So I’m figuring I’ll only have this character till I decide I hate it at level 30 (see Druids) and delete it.  I hit the random name generator button a few times, find a name, shave off the fifth letter and viola!  A Priest is born.

I smite my way into boredom.  I get a wand and wand my way into boredom.  LFG is born and I heal as Shadow all the way until I can get Circle of Healing and then I go Holy.  I hardly do any quests (I still hardly have any flight paths) instead I keep my nose to the grindstone and level almost exclusively in LFG.  Being the pure being of goodness I am, I never have to wait very long for a group since I’m “Teh Healer” and not a dirty DPS.

So I’m a happy Holy Priest, blending and weaving my subtle and gentle heal spells through the party until I find myself a stranger in a strange land populated by these dark, savage beasts, who seem hell-bent on their own destruction…

Death Knights.

Now I like Death Knights.  I have one sitting at level 78.  I’ve tanked on him a bunch until I decided to go back to my pally.  I like healing Death Knight tanks.  In fact there isn’t a tank I dislike healing as long as they have some idea of what their job is.

But Death Knights are a dime a dozen in Outlands.  Everyone makes em, gets a few levels on them, then ditches them.  In the process they destroy countless lives of healers and their children as they act like jacktards and slop their way through five mans.

So.  Constantly out of mana (Holy mana isn’t very forgiving in the 60’s, having to drink every pull, and basically feeling slowed down by stupidity I do the unthinkable.

I respecced Disc and never looked back.  So here I be.  Penancing, flash healing, bubblezing, afking, and slouching through Wrath of the Lich King.

These days I actually get excited when I have something to heal and sometimes I’ll let my tank get curb stomped just to warrant casting Penance.  When I see a DPS getting their face chewed off I let them until it’s worth my limitless mana pool to heal them.   When I just want to mail it in I just bubble my party and go get a Pepsi.

I love getting a new tank who’s nervous and when they explain in party that their new or have never done this boss, I like to be able to tell them.  “No worries.”  And I mean it.  I like being the guy between life and death.

Sometimes the shit hits the fan and I zig when I should have zagged.  I make mistakes and have dropped people I could have saved.  It happens.  But I like to think of myself as the backbone of the party.  I know the tank has 3 other DPS they are trying to keep aggro from, they’ve got mobs and environmentals to deal with, and they’ve got that question that is seared in the back of EVERY tanks mind “Am I strong enough to take all this damage?”.

The last thing I want them to worry about is “Am I going to get heals?”.  Yep.  Yes you are, because I’ve got you.  I’ve been there.  I’ve tanked it all, I’ve had all the problems that you face as a tank, and I’ve asked myself the same questions.

So I’m heading into Cataclysm as a Priest.  I’ll probably stay Disc, unless my new guild’s healing roster composition changes or as strategy dictates.

I honestly never thought I’d end up healing, but I find it extremely calming and even when things go south I like to be the guy that’s a large part of the reason, they only go south and not all the way to Hell.

It’s odd.  When your with any other healer people tend to measure how good their healer is by how much damage they healed or how many people they saved from near death.

But us Discipline Priest’s we’re different.  When you don’t take any damage at all, that’s where were at our best.  And you may never even notice it.


Film at 11.

“That” Guy

Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on October 9, 2010

I think I’ve been this guy before.  The guy whose friends are gamers but don’t play WoW.  Instead they’re table-top role-players, miniature gamers, console gamers, card gamers, board gamers, etc.

Oh a newsflash for those not in the know about gamers…yeah most of them like to feel superior to other gamers.

The table-top gamers like to snicker about the card players because “TCG’s are not art”, the war gamers think everyone is beneath them and could crush them with infantry supported armored cav, board gamers tend to spit on the random dice rolling games made by Hasbro and only play “deep” games with strategy that are made in das munterland oft Germany.

Yes I read Troll Racials Are Overpowered today.  I am not dogging out my gamer friends who don’t play Warcraft.  My friendships tend to be very loose and far apart.  I just do my thing and other people do their thing.  It’s a non-issue

But I’m sitting here thinking to myself on what I would share with my non-WoW friends to show them why I play World of Warcraft and this is what I came up with.  It’s probably not what everyone else would…

  • One ten dollar bill.  One five dollar bill.  Hey it’s cheap and you get a TON for that 15 bucks a month.
  • Ventrillo.  The simple fact that I can talk in real time with my friends while we play a video game is one of the sole reasons I’m still around.  It adds a HUGE element to the game that I know more people would enjoy if they tried it.
  • Night Elf and Dranai females pillow fighting.
  • An instance.  Seriously I know we’re all jaded, but do you remember the first time you saw the big fiery forge in Utegard Keep.  What about the first time you walked on one of those huge chains in whatever that place is.  (Your Vanilla WoW means NOTHING to me.  NOTHING.)  There’s some epic beauty in this game (I love the broken floating stained glass windows in Ulduar).
  • Talent trees.  Gamers love to min/max, they love to have options and duel spec their half-elf, half-orc wizard/rogues for their DnD game.  You mean they can just switch specs in the middle and either be a healer OR a fighter?
  • A raid.  The concentrated effort of 10 or 25 people all working together to kill one boss is amazing to me.  The strategy, the determination, the cheers over vent, it’s awesome.  It’s a team effort.  I really think a lot of role players and war gamers would leap at this is they saw it.

Anyway.  Yeah just a thought.

Oh my friday ICC 10 “pug” run.  I sucked as raid lead.  I ended up tanking (first time in MONTHS) then switching to healing for Dreamwalker and Sindy.

Wiped 3 times on Sindy but we had it but it was past the end time so I called it.  Might do it again Friday.

Wrath Reflections

Posted in General Me, WoW by mrfenris on October 7, 2010

I spoke with a citizen today who clearly had waxed her mustache recently.  Bless her heart she missed a corner of her mouth and I couldn’t stop staring.

I’ve written about 4 1/2 posts this past week and never bothered posting them.  Yes.  It’s still more important for me to write then to be read.

4.0 is coming.  Bring it.

With it comes the players like myself who have been reading about how our class has changed and what new abilities and “rotations” we have, players who are terrified and dreading it, and people who will take 4 months to learn how to play their class after the 4.0 patch just like they did with patch 3.1.

I’ve decided to give Discipline, Smite/Atonement healing a go and recently started leveling my Corehound for my Beastmaster Hunter.  That’s my plan in the post patch world.  We’ll see how it all shapes up in Cataclysm.

I really really like my new guild.

I really really wish they hadn’t changed their secondary ICC 10 raid time to two hours earlier.  My kids are still up then and I’ve usually got the baby so my wife can do whatever she needs to do.  Not gonna work.  Still I really like these folks so far and we’ve got a lot going for us so I plan on seeing how everything adjusts out once Cataclysm hits.

My old guild split in half basically.  Half the people stayed in it, half the people left and formed a new guild.  I think I’m the only one whose publicly decided to head out on his own.  (wait someone else did too)  Nothing personal.  No drama.  Just felt like the right thing to do.  I was just looking for a less social environment then I was in.  It was a me thing.

My personal game plan for finishing up ICC in Wrath got knocked off track by real life.  Premature baby with congenital issues + 5 weeks in a NICU will do that to a person.  I had high hopes for finishing up ICC in my new guild, but with the change to raid times that’s not gonna happen.  It’s cool.  No biggie.

I’ve kindly turned down offers to go with my former guildies on various nights to kill Arthas.  Most commonly it’s just because they start a little early for me.  Most of the time.

Since I’m not able to find too many opportunities to raid with other folks, I’ve decided to organize my own runs.  I’ve got an invite only night coming up this Friday and we’ll see how that goes.

It’s a crisp sunny fall day outside.  I spent a majority of it driving around in my brand new work truck, smelling that new car smell, drinking a Diet Pepsi, and listening to the radio.  It was the kind of day built for driving around the city.  I spent most of it musing about what I liked about Wrath and what I didn’t like about Wrath.

I learned how to PvP.  Poorly.  Thank God there are people worse at it then me that I can kill.

Naxxramas = I miss it at times.

Ulduar = I learned how to raid here.  A beautiful place.  My favorite times in Wrath were spent in here, while everyone else went to loot fest that was…

Trial of the Crusader = Weak ass storyline, weak ass design, I could never get excited about TotC.  I guess even “bad sex” is good.  I guess the same is true for raiding.  Meh.

Icecrown Citadel = Awesome.  Beautiful.  Unfinished.  As a guild I felt we wasted our potential in here.

LFG = The best thing to happen to WoW in a long time.

In Wrath…

I went from an insecure tank, to a competent tank, to a burned out tank, to a Huntard, to a Healer.  (Is that the equivalent of something “turning you gay”?)

I went from a second in command raid leader, to a frustrated guild member, to a focused raid leader, to a frustrated raid leader, to a burned out raid leader, to a former raid leader.

I went from the officer everyone came to with their problems, to just one of the guys, to a former guild member in a guild I used to co-GM, to the Random Priest #5 new guy in another guild.

I don’t have any regrets.  It’s a video game.

I do have some regrets.  It’s a MMO and involves other people.

But I plan on learning from all the mistakes I’ve made.  From making the wrong gem choice, to making the wrong call during a raid, to making a poor choice and getting too invested in something from a social aspect.

I wouldn’t take any of it back.  Better to learn from it.

So I’m done thinking about Wrath and what I wanted out of it.

Now it’s time to think about Cataclysm and what I’m going to take from it.