The Gray Place

Riffing

Posted in Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on October 28, 2010

It’s amazing to me that people are in such a huge hurry for Cataclysm.  They want their new quests, new instances, new races, new levels, new raids, and they want it NOW.

They wanted the same thing when Wrath was about to ship.

Yet most of these same folks now sit around Dalaran and lament about how boring Wrath is.  How all the content is stale and how easy lolheroics are.  They whine and bite their pillows wondering aloud “what am I supposed to write about” on their blogs.  (Nothing you tools.  You are not “supposed” to do anything.  Wankstas.)  On a side note I wonder how many of these Heroic Heroes have actually done Uld hardmodes or even seen Yoggzilla, instead skipping right to the Trial of the Lootfest because Heroic Mimiron “wuz hard and the loot sux”.

SO what’s the big hurry?  Your just going to be bored and emo when you’ve killed Deathwing a million times.  Your going to complain about 5 mans being too easy (forget that your pimped out in raid gear).  Your just going to complain that there’s nothing left to do in game and you’ll look to SWTOR to deliver you from the crushing weight that is WoW, with the hope and gleam in your eyes of an Iowa farm girl who just got off the bus in Vegas.  Little do you know you’ll soon have your ID’s stolen by your future pimp and you’ll be turning tricks for sweaty business men to work off your “debt”.  You’ve only traded your old shitty life (WoW) for a new shitty life (SWTOR).  Grats.

I’m tired of zee bloogozphere.  I’m tired of the “bloggers” (most of them).  I’m tired of the ego.  The envy.  The popularity contests.  The demand for attention and recognition by Blizzard.  Most of them seek to entertain their “fans”, driving their hit count, pandering like whores in order to drive “conversations”.

“What am I supposed to talk about?”

Nothing, motherfucker.

Which in hindsight makes me sound like an ignorant prick.  But I’m not a prick.  Ignorant I might bite on.  But a prick I won’t.  (see what I did there?)

I’m actually one of the nicest people I know.

I don’t think I EVER want to tank a raid boss again.  It’s boring.  A long time ago Larissa linked to a post I wrote where I described raid tanking as being boring and staring at boss crotch all day.  Of course this was followed by some folks snarking about how “good” tanks spin their camera, blah blah, yadda-yadda, etc.  Why do people focus on throw away comments anyway?  I’d “tank” 95% of you fuckers into the GROUND.  I don’t just tank mobs…I AM THE MOBS.

Anyway getting back to topic at hand, boss tanking still strikes me as one of the most boring things ever.  I can think of maybe 2 fights in Wrath I enjoyed tanking.

Yogg was one.  Proffesor Putracide/Abom Driver was the other.

However I do miss tanking trash and the control and flow that a good tank brings to a run.  Any monkey can tank 95% of the bosses in Wrath.  They just need to do their single target threat “rotation”, pop some cooldowns, and eat nachos, while the rest of the party does the work.

It occurred to me last night mid-raid that I am officially a healer.  Like I heal people and stuff.  Their life bar goes down and like Viagra I make it go up again.  I even have two heal specs.  In my old guild I always felt like a tank who was just moonlighting as a DPS or a Healer until we needed me to tank again.

Someone once described my blog as “uhhh”.  It’s the best compliment I ever got, thank you beautiful.  I say that as a mostly happily married man.

Who hasn’t touched boob in like 3 months except for coping a feel on the sides.

Damn baby.  I’m trying to get my swerve on.

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16 Responses

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  1. Bimini Asheye said, on October 29, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    Best pre-Cataclysm post EVAR! XD

    Btw, I tank because it’s easy. Don’t tell my guildies. 😉

  2. mrfenris said, on October 30, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    Cataclysm will fix it?

    I hope so. And to be fair I have NOT tanked since the 4.0 patch.

    I’d like to get back into it but I think this time it’ll be as a warrior or DK.

  3. loveandwarinazeroth said, on October 31, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    Uhhh… That’s exactly what I said the first time I read your blog, with a huge smile on my face. You’re the kind of blogger I’d like to be, irreverent and quirky, saying what you want, being yourself.

    I think I struggle with that because I’m still trying to figure out who exactly I am. Jesus, 31 years old and I still don’t know who I am? ~sigh~

    I guess we’re playing switcheroo. You be the healer for a while and I’ll be the tank. You don’t see any more of the dungeons as a healer. Well, at least I don’t, all I see is green bars. It’s debatable which looks better. Personally, I think I’d prefer crotch. Perhaps we can both agree that they’re both better than staring at ass.

    • mrfenris said, on November 3, 2010 at 12:50 pm

      Don’t feel too bad. Last year I didn’t know I was 33 and told everyone I was 32. I had no idea how old I was. Stuff like that doesn’t matter to me. Or I’m just stupid. Or both.

      ***

      Now if only all bosses looked like Christina Hendricks.

  4. terling said, on November 1, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    I remember my first few instances as dps and being amazed at how pretty everything was. Playing a priest for the first few years meant that I barely new how to get to instances, let alone what they looked like.

    • mrfenris said, on November 3, 2010 at 12:53 pm

      Lies.

      I’m convinced the only thing you saw was the Seed of Corruption button.

      The one you had hot keyed to everything…

  5. Adam said, on November 1, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    Nice rant, and I have only one reply to it …

    Sexual frustration.

    • mrfenris said, on November 3, 2010 at 12:46 pm

      But will you help me with it?

      • Adam said, on November 3, 2010 at 3:49 pm

        Sure, you can watch me fuck your sister.

  6. Bee said, on November 2, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    I think I love you.

    And Boss Crotch.

    • mrfenris said, on November 3, 2010 at 12:52 pm

      Festergut and Rotface are the worst. I just stare at that belly fat jiggling.

      I get enough of that in my real life…

  7. Larísa said, on November 3, 2010 at 10:28 am

    “I’m tired of zee bloogozphere. I’m tired of the “bloggers” (most of them). I’m tired of the ego. The envy. The popularity contests. The demand for attention and recognition by Blizzard. Most of them seek to entertain their “fans”, driving their hit count, pandering like whores in order to drive “conversations”

    What kind of blogs do you read? While I certainly don’t love every wow blog there is out there, and while I sometimes feel as if I’m an outsider, not a part of the inner “I pat your back so you can pat mine back” circle, I don’t quite recognize the image you’re painting to be honest.. Especially not the “demand for attention and recognition by Blizzard”. while you frequently see it i forums in “Blues, read this post plz” headed topics, I’ve yet to see the same kind of plead in a blog.
    I don’t think there’s any blogger who walks around in the imagination that Blizzard cares about what we write. Not that I know of.

    I believe that the majority of wow bloggers write for other reasons than for the hit numbers or for the fantasy that Blizzard will read their rands. I think we write because we need to. That’s who we are.

    • mrfenris said, on November 3, 2010 at 12:45 pm

      A smart woman wrote that…

      “Still I think they could do a lot better. I think they could pay back a little of all the love and help they get from the blogging community, which keeps promoting their game and helping to educate the playerbase, making it a better experience for everyone. They do it for free. All we’re asking for in return is some link love.”

      http://www.pinkpigtailinn.com/2010/04/has-blizzard-put-wow-blogging-community.html

      ***

      And just to be 100% clear. Your one of my favorite bloggers. Because I never want to read someone I agree with 100% of the time. Even if I disagree with what you have to say, I *think* about it. And that’s what appeals to me.

      • Larísa said, on November 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm

        Hehe, cheers!

        Indeed I wrote that and I still stand for it; I think the position they take against the blogosphere is ridiculous, since there are extremely valuable blogs (not my own, mind you), that are ignored, while the most utterly crappy pointless “copy-paste-the-blue-posts” are included in their fan programme. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Where is their social media strategy? Just asking.

        However this remark from me in one post is something entirely different from every blogger their is crying for Blizzard’s attention. I just haven’t seen that happening. But we might be reading different blogs.

        And it’s a pleasure to disagree with you 🙂

  8. mrfenris said, on November 3, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    @Adam.

    kk. But only the ugly one.


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