The Gray Place


Posted in General Me, WoW by mrfenris on November 29, 2010

Snails crawling along razor blades and the abyss staring back at you has NOTHING on what it means to gaze upon your healing frames while PVPing in AV.

Madness I tell you, MADNESS.

It’s enough to make me redesign my whole UI or at least scale down my Vudoh.  Or switch to Grid.  Dunno.  All I do know is the 40 players and their 20 pets that I saw swimming before my eyes was enough to make me scream silently, rock back and forth, and stick pixie sticks in my eyes.

The End.

I don’t want it.  I just need it.  -Tool

Confessions of a lowbie Mage alt-

mrfenris: Hi.  My name is mrfenris and I am a DPS addict.  It’s been two days since I’ve looked at Recount.  I wish I could say it’s been longer, but I’ve even installed recount on my level 10 Mage.

Group: Hi Mrfenris. *some chuckle knowing that they have too*

mrfenris: Right.  Well yeah.  I’ve tanked and healed in the past, but sometime in Wrath I found myself really really bored.  I first  made a Rogue in order to get some spice and my DPs was rocking at first, because Muti was broke.  But soon it wasn’t enough and I started playing my Hunter again, because I didn’t even have to move and my DPS was obscene.  I mean imagine topping the charts and not even having to mouse turn for your “deeps”.

Group:   *a few Hunters in the group nod in agreement*

mrfenris: I tried to wean myself back off of it and /gquit cold turkey and hid from my guildies so that I could shake it.  I started healing on my Priest as everything was going really good until one day we were running a five man and we realized we had two healers.  I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stop myself…but *chokes back a sob* I… I, offered to go Shadow and DPS.  I couldn’t stop myself, I mean why the hell was Mind Sear that good?  I went at it like a mad man, wearing my healing gear and Mind Searing everything that moved.  I hit such a rock bottom that I found myself casting Devouring Plague on critters.  I mean what kind of a sicko does that?

*mrfenris takes a few seconds to compose himself*

mrfenris: But I stopped eventually and went with Discipline as my main spec and Holy as my offspec, trying to stay on the streight and narrow.  I did really good for a weeks, I changed my old habits, stopped hanging around with old “deeps” and soon I was feeling pretty good, until the Shattering came and my world crumbled around me.

I knew better.  I didn’t really WANT to, but I found myself staring there at the character selection screen and seeing this empty character slot.  I mean I know I didn’t HAVE to fill it, but it just kept calling out to me.  I told myself it would be different.  This time I would just try something new for a few levels, so I rolled a Mage.

At first, I was like “Man, this doesn’t even feel that good.  I can kick this easy.”  Then I found myself staring at the particle effects of my fireball as if I was seeing them for the very first time.  I was ready to quit and log off, when all of a sudden I dinged and I found myself at my trainer and he gave me a taste of Arcane Missiles.  I didn’t think much of them until I got my first proc with them.  Then it was on like Donkey Kong.

A few levels later I found myself back at my trainer asking what other “hot stuff” he had.  Boom he gave me an instant cast.  I spent the next few hours wandering Goldshire dpsing out of my mind.  I dpsed on wolves, I dpsed on boars, I dpsed on Gnolls, I even found myself dpsing poor little level 1 rabbits.

When I fireballed those little rabbits something in me snapped.  I immediately marched back to Goldshire, past the erpers, and right up the steps to my Mage trainer.  I told him I was going to log and delete myself right in front of his face.  I was just a second away from it, when all of a sudden I dinged level 10 and got my first talent point.  I stood there all sweaty for a second and as if watching my cursor from outside my body I found myself putting the talent point in the Fire tree.

To my horror I found a new spell Pyroblast on my action bar.  I barely remember walking out of the inn and back into the woods to try it.  I queued it up and cast it and was immediately overwhelmed that it crit for over 100 damage.  It was right then I knew I was hooked again.  I spent the next 45 minutes casting Pyroblast and giggling like a mad man when it crit.

So here I am again.  Dpsing out in the woods like a scum bag.  I’ve already looked into the Fire tree, and what spells are coming down the pipe, and I’m afraid.  Afraid I’ll go back to the meter whoring DPS fiend that I know lurks inside me.  Afraid I’ll kill myself a thousand times over once I start AOEing and pull aggro off the tank.  Afraid that I’ll level another character.


Tomorrow’s a new day I guess.

Desecration is the smile on my face.  -Red Hot Chili Peppers

My son now has a mohawk that’s dyed red.  He looks like a Troll.

And he’s seven and I feel old.



Full Belly

Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on November 23, 2010

I do not read quest text.  In fact I hardly ever do.  It’s no secret that I don’t like questing.  I do not find it all that fun, engaging, or immersive.

It’s something I need to do, to level, so I can get to the harder content.  Now don’t misunderstand me.  I think some of the WoW quests are well done.  Working your way towards the Avatar of Freya in Sholazar Basin or working with the Argent Crusade in Icecrown for example, are all pretty cool questlines.  But I only do them because I at the time I HAD too.

Now that the LFG feature hit, quests are just something for me to do while I wait for my queue to pop.

“Don’t know that I will but until I can find me
A girl who’ll stay and won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am, A solitary man” -Neil Diamond

I think it comes down to the fact that I don’t find questing in Warcraft very immersive.  There’s been very few moments where I’ve felt caught up in the game and felt connected to it.  I am not bashing Warcraft.  I tend to fine MMO’s very unimmersive in general.  I don’t play Warcraft for some epic storyline to insert myself into.

I was actually driving around at work today and trying to think of actual moments I felt immersed in the World of Warcraft and that’s when I realized that anytime I’ve felt anything remote to being immersed in WoW that it had absolutely nothing to do with questing.

I remember standing in Westfall as an Alliance Paladin nub and seeing the farmland give way into a cliff that overlooked an ocean.  I stood on that cliff and marveled at just how big this world.  I felt like I was realizing that while I came from humble begainings that my Paladin had a huge expansive destiny in front of him to grow into.

I remember my Hunter standing in this huge cavernous room with a giant elemental creature in front of him.  Our Feral Druid rushed in to attack him, our mage started maging, I started shooting, and I naively realized “This is it.  This is what World of Warcraft is.”  I felt like I was this small part of a team vs this huge boss and they needed my help.

I remember being in the dark and firey Shattered Halls gauntlet.  My Protection Paladin in front of my party, protecting them, being the shield that the wave of Fel Orcs broke itself on.  They’d come running and screaming down the hallway, wave after wave as we advanced foot by bloody foot.

I remember freeing all the Keepers in Ulduar and starting our descent into madness as we walked down towards Yogg Saron’s prison.  We passed over broken stone and shattered stained glass windows that floated in the air as if the laws of physics and reason had no bearing here.

“I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway.
I am not your carpet, I am the sky.
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.” -Audioslave

And so I’m sitting here and realizing that being immeresed into a game doesn’t start at the game itself.  It starts with me.  My imagination ADDING to the game, augementing it, deepening it’s shadows.

It’s easy for me to get jaded and wave off the above events simply as questing in Westfall, (lol) Wailing Caverns, AOE tanking, and heading to kill General V.  After all that’s what it is on the surface.  But too me they’re bits stuck in my memory as times I actually felt part of the game.  I didn’t read every scrap of lore involing the quest, I didn’t watch the boss strat 100 times till i could do it blind folded, I didn’t explain it all away with number crunching and spread sheets.  I just needed to play.

Maybe we don’t need to dive into a game to find it immersive.

Maybe we just need to let go.


Posted in General Me, Preizt, WoW by mrfenris on November 22, 2010

Hark the Angels did singth and nuzzleth each other’s bottoms, and the Lord spake and proclaimed “Let thou’s goodith wife take her chubby red-headedith ass backith to work!”

And so she did.

And so they sang.

And mrfenris didist dance a plump mans gay jig for now hist wife was no longer a stayith homeith wife.

“Can’t stop addicted to the shin dig.” -Red Hot Chili Peppers

Maternity leave is dead.  God bless maternity leave.  I’m sick of yo ass always being home.  I need my space.  I need my Starcraft 2 fix on my lunch break.  I don’t need to see you seven days a week.  TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO WORK WOMAN!

Oh quit launching your estrogen filled, ovary bombs at me.  Your independent and equal.  You guys can vote, have your own special toilets, and ladies day at the Quick Lube.  Besides she makes more money then I do, why would I want her at home?

My children’s future is pretty much bleak anyway (srs have you met them?), so that extra mommy time is pretty much wasted.  Besides they’d rather have an extra X-mas present or two around the house then mom home for an extra dinner or two per week.

I appreciate their practicality.  It’ll get them further in life than an extra hug.

“So let’s sink another drink
‘Cause it’ll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I’d ask the world to dance
And I’ll be dancing with myself” -Billy Idol

Single dad weekends are back.  That means in addition to being Mr. Mom, I get to catch up on my DVR shows, Netfix, and Gaming.

I logged onto my priest for the first time in two weeks and immediately jumped into ICC.  Yes people still run it.  I like the fact that my guild is still running “old” content just because they 1.  Like to raid  and 2.  Like to get new members into the mix.

I had actually never healed past Saurfang since I’ve recently switched to a priest main.  I broke my own first rule of raiding and went raiding with a completely new untested UI and boy did I end up looking a noob.

mrfenris: “Uh Turmi, your solo healing this…”

Turmi: “That’s fine.”  (She’s a good resto druid who proceeded to heal all the plague trash and mini bosses, while I watched in panic as my healing add-on decided to stop working.)

And the best part is when I figured out of the conflict (it was between me turning off my raid frames and my UI considering Vudoh my raid frames.  Idiot.) I had already reloaded, relogged, and reset back Vudoh’s default and had to re-enter all my spells.  I can’t just set a stapler down on Rejuv dammit, I’m a priest.  I have to cast more than one spell.  (Kidding.  Besides I set my stapler on Power Word: Shield.)

Festergut went down smooth.  Rotface went down smoothish (except I forgot to re-add my cleanse spells like a nub and had to manually click them in my spell book HAHAHAHA.  Ahem.  Nub.)  “No rly guyz I can healz!”

Professor Putracide was 10x smoother then I imagined it to be.   Disco Druid combo FTW.  I looked at the WoL report this morning and besides my nub gaffes I didn’t do bad at all.  I still need to remember Power Infusion more, I need to do a better job of re-casting that.

After the raid I jumped on my Unholy DK, rocketed my way from 78 to 80 and immediately thought,  “Huh.  Now what do I do with him?”  So I went to bed.

Srs.  Really?  An 80 Death Knight DPS.  Their about as common as a used Honda Civic.  That’s me your average neighborhood Unholy Civic, parked in front of your house leaking Unholy oil on your street.  Little undead minion crammed in the hatchback.  “Me bite….?”

“Tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him
He best go run and hide
Daddy’s got a new .45”
– Sublime

I have noticed something mildly annoying.  Since I’ve leveled my family and gone from two kids to three kids, I’ve noticed people seem to have a sort of set smugness about how many children people are supposed to have.  As if I suddenly became a bad person going from two to three.  It’s subtle but it’s there.

Suck a peen you morons.  I get up at 3am to get them drinks of water.  I hold a baby so my wife can get stuff done around the house.  I do dishes, homework, and bathes on single dad nights.  Me.  Not you.  My kids have clean clothes, get taught consequences, and have mom and/or dad tuck them into bed nearly every night of their lives.  Handle your own shit before you even THINK about talking to me about me and mine.

Everyone is too busy being worried about everyone else in this fucking nanny state.

Blarg.  Fuck you in case you didn’t notice.

This titty is slowly turning into a different titty.  And that’s okay.  I’m content to sit back and watch it happen.  It’s mine.  I am not beholden to it.  I think I’d like to take a more “healing” centered focus once Cataclysm hits.



Posted in Gaming, General Me, Riffs by mrfenris on November 18, 2010

I had trashed all my old posts.

The mood struck me.

But I have this inane desire to babble about unimportant stuff (and I like to fuck off at work).

“Don’t call it a come-back, I’ve been here for years.”-  LL

You know what tastes delicious?  The warm salty tears that stream down a Shaman’s face when my Hunter hits Bloodlust.  I lap it up.  *lapalaplapalapa*

You know what’s boring?  Talking about Warcraft.

You know what’s exciting?  I’m getting an Xbox.  It’s time to teach the boy how to headshot.

The last two weeks have been spent preparing my 6 year old to give his advertising campaign assignment in front of his class.  Of course he chose to feature Starcraft 2 as his product.

Of course I’m proud.

Of course I’m a geek.

“Beauty I’d always missed with these eyes before.  Just what the truth is, I can’t say anymore.” – Moody Blues

HOOOMG Unholy Deathknight dps “is  like brocken“.  (Say it like a Valley Girl.  SAY IT! Anyone else remember Sweet Valley High?  I do.)

I’m actually enjoying my lvl 78 DK again.  I think I’ll play him for as long as my undiagnosed ADD lets me.  But srs, you hit 4-5 buttons, your pet does all the work, who says this game is hard?

My boys are still bruised from the procedure.  My “bombs” have been de-fused.

Did you know doctors come in girl flavors now?

You know who wins at Starcraft 2 when he 4 Warpgate rushes?  This guy.

You know who loses at Starcraft 2 when his 4 Warpgate rush doesn’t work?  This guy.

I just finally got through the Dragon Age: Origin’s Dwarven City storyline.  Who else got creeped out in the tunnels when the lady Dwarf started her “on this day…” mutterings?  Awesome.

I have this really strange urge to run a table top game again.

“Oh Doctor please help me, I’m damaged.” -The Rolling Stones

I missed out on the end of ICC.  I have never got to kill the Lich King.  A casual guild, coupled with a dying guild, coupled with a new kid born with deformities and congenital issues who stays in a ICU for four weeks will do that to a person.  (What the hell kid, can’t you see I was BUSY?!?!)

But I don’t even wanna kill Arthas all that much.  It’s in the past and wrapped up in a messy ball of yarn.  I think I’d much rather take a leisurely stroll down some new paths and see where they go.

Whether you’re the top part of the wave or the bottom part after it crashes, it’s all water.

It’s all water.





Swim while you can.

Posted in General Me, WoW by mrfenris on November 3, 2010

I know you folks think there’s a lot of important things that happen in November.

Thanksgiving, Day of the Dead, All Saints Day, All Souls Day, Veterans Day, etc.  But I’d like to draw your attention to a new holiday and hope you’ll join me in counting down to November 12th.  The day I get my Vasectomy.


That’s right.  November has just become National Mrfenris Gets His Vas Deferens Cut And Clamped Month or NMGHVDCACM for short.

I will be throwing a huge NMGHVDCACM party on the 11th that your all invited to as we head towards the big day.  We’ll have food, a punch bowl, party favors, and a door prize as we countdown to the big day where my boys will no longer be catapulting my swimmers into the wide open world (or shower).

FYI ladies, this is your last chance to be knocked up by me so don’t let it slip away.  It’ll be the best two minutes of your life.

There’s a quote from Lambi on Elitist Jerks that I’ve always liked.

“My two cents on BaS is that it’s a talent for the priests here that plays with a keyboard and mouse, and it’s not a talent for the people that play with a calculator and pencil” – Lambi.

Forget Body and Soul (awesome!), but I think it’s a great point.  Whether I was playing Miniature War Games, TCGs, or Video Games I’ve always seen some of the min/max crowd fall into a trap of their own devising.  It’s sort of like the “No Trap” in Zen Buddhism.

Sometimes we get so stuck on defining and explaining the “why” and we forget to just simply “be”.  It becomes a knee jerk reaction to explain it all away in percentages, procs, and “safe” answers.

(FYI I still think Fail Angel sucks.)

Many of us aren’t in the top 10% guilds of the world.  That extra .33% spell coefficient that we didn’t get because we went with the +8 to base stats chest enchant instead of the +10 to base stats isn’t going to cause us to fail.

Going further I think we over focus on hiding behind the “proper” min/max numbers when there’s at least ten other things in our play style that we can do to become more successful.

We all know these players.  They are the ones that spent 2k on armor pen gems (old example I know), studied EJ, worked the spread sheets, hung out at the Ensidia forums, yet they still move with their keyboard, they have no idea how moving affects their shot timer, they have no idea how the encounter mechanics work, and they put themselves in poor positions to DPS.  (I’m not picking on Hunters.  I happen to play one…poorly.)

When in fact they actually lose more DPS due to poor game habits then they gain from copying the “pros”.  I imagined if you actually WATCHED how the top guilds played you’d find that the largest portion of their success comes from their disciplined gameplay and understanding of the basic game more so then that extra Runed Cardinal Ruby.

And since I’m the king of broad brush strokes (King Biches!), I am in no way saying that you shouldn’t be reading EJ, staying current with the game, or getting the best gear and enchants you can.

Instead I’m saying, don’t become a slave to it.  Don’t hide behind it.  Instead augment it with being a “good” player first.


Come to my NMGHVDCACM party.

I may even do a live update on my titty as I get snipped.  OH AND A WEBCAM.


Posted in Uncategorized by mrfenris on November 2, 2010

I sent a guest post in for Amber at I Like Bubbles today.

This way she can keep working on her Worgan Erotic Fiction for NaNoWriMo.