The Gray Place


Posted in General Me, Preizt, Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on December 30, 2010

84.5 and I just stepped into Uldum.

Random thoughts?  Immature behavior?  PuG stories?  Top 10 lists?

You betcha.  This post has it all.

“That’s me on the street with a violin under my chin
Playing with a grin, singing gibberish.
”  –NOFX

Adam we both know your only going there to get that rare Sparkle Kangaroo mount.

Ran 2/3 instances last night as Shadow.  Am I just supposed to dot up skull, SW:P all the other mobs, then go back and MB/MF skull?  Is that what Spriest AOE is these days?  Well that’s what I did.

Mind Control is fun.  I’ve never has so much fun being the the body of a furry, four-legged, cat dude my whole life.  If it had boobs I’d never leave the house.

So basically all Cataclysm bosses can be explained in 3 brief sentences.  Stay out of stuff.  Move “here” when “this” happens.  DPS down the adds.  What?  That’s not some new fangled game design?  Crazy.

We had a DK nerd rage on us due to his death on a trash pull.  He tossed around l2Ps, fails, sux his dix, and at one point called our healer an abortion.  He then linked his DPS on trash and was booted or left, I honestly don’t remember.  We had zero wipes, made it through the whole dungeon fairly quick, and still he wasn’t happy.  Maybe he just wanted to go sit in a 45 minute queue.

Why do Disc priests say Holy is easy and Holy priests say Disc is easy?  And furthermore why does anyone really give a damn if it’s true one way or another?  Isn’t your job to keep your party up?  Just STFU and do your job.  Tank this, DPS that, and Heal them.  Besides we all know Resto druids are EZMode.  Kidding- the only reason I put a disclaimer on this is because both my healer partners were/are Trees and I would automagically take them into every single raid with me.

Because their OP.

2011 is bound to be yet another year people wall themselves in a protective bubble filled with “like-minded” people via the guise of community, facebook, twitter feeds, blogs, poli/social clubs, and brand identification.  They’ll live in an environment where these things are mirrors of their own “beliefs” and reflected back upon themselves, becoming completely retarded (in the original sense of the word) and stagnant to any external ideas or stimulus.

Sit in your bubbles.  The real world is still out there and it’s got sharp edges.  And some of us teach our kids to play with knives.

“turning true emotion
into digital expression
one by one we all fall down”  -Bad Religion

I hate end of the year top ten lists.  Here’s mine.

Top Ten Things Healers Need To Get Over in 2011-

  1. Keeping your party at 100% health.
  2. Not getting your propers.
  3. Yes those fucking Mages will roll on items with Spirit.
  4. Starting a trash pull without being at full mana.
  5. Just because your DPS has healing abilities, doesn’t mean they’ll use them.
  6. Healing through stupid.
  7. Not telling someone whose standing in stupid to get out of the stupid or don’t get healed.
  8. DPSing in your downtime (What?  You want the DPS to heal during their’s right?).
  9. Letting the tank run them ragged.
  10. Letting someone die.

“release me from moral assumption
total rejection total destruction
nihilistic feelings are moving
if you try real hard you’ll see right through them”  -Rancid

I’m off on vacation till January 10th so I probably won’t be posting much if at all.  I’m going to an excitable, loud, violent at times (never touch my daughter’s stuff.  Ever.), raucous place.  My house.

It’s filled with two stupid Chocolate labs named after Star Wars characters, two formerly stray cats, a lovely chubby red-head wife, a seven-year-old nerd son, a crazed Cheerleader/Amazon three-year-old daughter, and a four-month-old baby who has a big leg and doesn’t believe in sleeping at night.

It’s the only place I’ve wanted to be all year.



Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on December 27, 2010

I am perhaps the “worst” gamer in the world.

I actually enjoy the games I play.

My wife totally fucked me over by getting a new coffee maker.  I liked our old one.  I knew EXACTLY how to make the coffee taste like battery acid, Guinness stout, and aspirin.  Now it’s all “clean” tasting.  Selfish wench, this new one is all fancy.

I have not even been trying to level in Cataclysm and I am almost 84 on my main.  Seriously, I’m barely even playing right now.  Most nights I don’t even log in till after 10:30 pm, the baby is napping (sleep ha!), the chores are done, and I’m getting my second wind.

I’ve run quite a few dungeons now and it’s still my preferred place to level.  Questing is something I do when I want just mind numbing “fun”.

SIDENOTE: I will never level a pure DPS spec again.  45 minute Q times.  Go fuck yourself.  The end.

Unlike some folks who haven’t even run heroics, but will go into great detail to tell you their thoughts on them, based on their observations of other people’s opinions, I will not opine about heroic dungeons and my thoughts on them.  However I am looking forward to them greatly, especially seeing just how hard a bad pug can make me work healing a normal run.

I’m at an odd spot in my guild.  I do not run instances with them, due to my short playing availability and the fact that they “all” are level 85 and doing heroics.  Some folks would bitch about that but I don’t.  I like my guild quite a bit and my availability is a “me” problem.  Not theirs.

I’ve got a group of friends I usually can tag a run along with if I don’t want to subject myself to the brain drain that a pug group can bring.  Besides it’s nice to sit back on Mumble and chat with players you’ve played with for three years.

“Comin’ down the mountain,
One of many children ,
Everybody has
Their own opinion.”  -Jane’s Addiction

I am hungry for fried chicken.

It is my supreme position and official party line that chickens are reason enough alone for an alien species to conquer us.  They are small.  They cluck.  And they taste delicious when fried with a salty/spicy coating.  If I was the Most-Tallest of an Alien planet I would order Earth’s enslavement and subjugation of their tasty poultry.

Jesus Christ do you realize how amazing, good fried chicken really is?  You can eat it hot with its juices flowing across your tongue or you can eat it cold the next day, meat ripped from the bones sprinkled with salt and pepper.  I could eat it everyday.

“Oh, such tacos will I give!”  -Invader Zim

I never level trade skills this early in an expansion.  1.  It’s boring to me.  2.  It takes time (of which I do not have).  3.  I’d rather charge outrageous prices on the mats I gather while I level and sell them to people who 1.  Don’t find trades boring.  2.  Have a ton of time.  3.  Don’t mind getting bent over by my rogue bank alt atop the Org Auction House and paying for 1 piece of cloth at a time.

I never really *need* money in WoW.  I always have anywhere from 10-20k at any given time.  I only try to “make” money when I need it and then it’s off to the auction house for a week and I’m flush again.  I see no reason for me to perform an action that I don’t enjoy, in a video game I do enjoy, just to have a huge stockpile of make-believe gold that I’ll never spend.  I just need enough to repair, raid, and support any new alts that I roll.  Anything else is a waste to me.

“Or better yet a terminator,
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Try’n to play me out like as if my name was Sega.”  -House of Pain

The Xbox 360 Kinect is a huge hit at our house.  I have not tried it except to set it up for the wife and 2/3 kids.  I will admit I don’t know what’s more exciting… laughing at my wife for almost falling over while playing it because she’s a klutz or channeling Benny Hill and leering at her “jiggly” bits as she dances and hops around.  I hoped aloud to her that they make a stripping game for it.  Naturally it would come with a pole.

In five years I will have the greatest video game collection in the world.  It will look exactly like your collection does right now in the present.  I have lots of theories.  One of them being that women are only sexually appealing to me during the ages of 18-29 and then again at 45-60.  And yet another, that a good game “today” will be a good game “tomorrow”.

Which is why I enjoy buying 3 new games for 30 bucks on eBay and putting them in a growing stack in the office cabinet to be played at a later date.  I am not a “cheap” person.  I have no problem playing good money for a good product.  However due to the limiting factor in my life (which is my job and family sucking away my soul and destroying any semblance I had of self-awareness, until I am an empty husk fueled only by coffee with Splenda and a lingering hope that I will either die soon or endure until they all divorce me/move out.)  I do not have a ton of time to play the newest hottest game.

Instead I am more inclined to be the guy that says “Man I just got Gears of War and it is a pretty cool game.” at a gamer gathering where everyone is wanking over Final Fantasy IVIVIXIXII for the Playstation 7.

I figure in about 10 years I’ll finally get to play all the discount PC and Xbox 360 games that I buy.

Maybe I’ll be fighting for life on my death-bed when I’m eighty (dear God I hope I don’t live that long) and the doctors will consult with my grieving kids…

Kids:  “Is he getting worse doctor?”

Doc:  “No he’s in bad shape but he’s still clinging on.  He must be holding on because of your love and support.”

Me:  *thinks* “Not really.  I’d just really want to play that HALO: Reach game I bought 50 years ago.  I only paid 10 bucks for it.”

Die. Just die.

Posted in Gaming, General Me, Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on December 22, 2010

And now for something negative.

I can’t stand you WoW players anymore.

You’ll level as fast as you can during an expansion which seems to be lacking depth.  “I wuz 85 on the 2nd day lulz”.

You’ll soon outgear the only challenges you have now and then you’ll bitch about it.  (And guaranteed half of you still won’t know how to “play” your class.)

Any new patched five mans will be “hard” at first then soon outgeared also.

You’ll rush to 85, raid, get stone walled on a “hard boss” and wail about how bored you are.

The end game has become the “game” now.  Everything else just gets in the way.

You can’t have fun unless you hear a bell, see an achievement, win an item with a .5% upgrade, and be told “grats”.

Like a migrant worker you log in daily to farm mats because “hey it’s still playing WoW” and you’ll lament about how bored you are playing a FUCKING VIDEO GAME.

Here’s a thought.  GO DO SOMETHING ELSE IF YOUR BORED.  You can’t possibly have seen all the porn the internet has to offer.


I don’t even like myself today.

Gonna go drink my coffee.

Sub Drop

Posted in Preizt, WoW by mrfenris on December 21, 2010

This might be a let down to some folks…

There is no magic Elitist Jerks formula as to why I respecced from Disc to Holy.  (Although anyone else notice that Power Word: Bubble seems to scale poorly from 80-85?  However to be fair Disc single target heals seem to scale fairly well.)

I once again call upon the powers of Lambi who once posted…


I’ve riffed on this a bit before.  We players sometimes give formulas, coefficients, and perceived beliefs a greater value then they deserve.  At times we view things in a “Perfect World” scenario only.  It’s where everything lines up as it should, DPS can do the two-step to get out of the fire, tanks never hit a bad string of incoming damage, and healers always ALWAYS pick the right spell.

And now we make the usual disclaimer.  Yes I think such things as data stolen er found on Elitist Jerks, youtube, and theory crafting sites are valuable tools.  Yes I think they can make you a better player.  I just think that we can get lost in these “truths” and become so obsessed with them that we expect them alone to make us better players.  We fall headlong into the “link Achiev and GS for weekly” mentality with some piss poor basic gameplay habits.

Instead I made the choice to switch to Holy from Disc on three simple things, Hope, Reality, and Ego.

“Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination”  -4 Non Blondes

Act I:  The sweet hopes of a balding fat man-

My healing in the past sucked in regards to technique.  I was a “Wrath Baby” healer.  I could stack Int on my Holy Paladin and SPAM Holy Light and overheal any boss to death.  Mana did not matter.  Spell selection did not matter.  My flowchart would look like this.  Does tank have Bacon of Light on him?, —-> spam offtank or raid with Holy Light, —-> eat nachos with free hand.

Even when I rolled my Discipline Priest it was amazingly simple to Bubble Yawn your way through encounters.  Oh sure I had to cast other spells, but I found Disc to by highly un-engaging in terms of healing.  “Ok AOE phase coming?  Here lemme bubble you.  Oh the bubble broke?  No worries here’s my OP Druid partner to HoT you back up to full.”

Yes I over generalize.  Save me your “earned” healy tears about how there’s more to healing than spamming.  I have heard it all before and even believe some if it.  But I found Wrath healing boring and worse, it rewarded half-ass spam healing.

Then came Cataclysm, who tried to seduce me with heavy petting, Smite/Atonement and Chakra.  And we all know I am a sucker for heavy petting.  Well that and women with lazy or crossed eyes.

So here we are with the changes to healing and my hopes that it stays “tight” in terms of difficulties.  It’s in Cataclysm that I wanted to work on an actual healing technique and understanding of the mechanic.

Act II:  The reality of said fat man-

I have joined a guild that actually has almost too many healers.  *GASP* In fact we have so many lovers of the art of sexual healing that most our healers had two heal specs and even our alts were healers.  I remember one night we needed DPS and we were laughing because none of the three healers that were on had a DPS spec.

My guild is not in need of healers (but we need Hunters go figure).  Out of the healers we have, we’ve got everything but……you guessed it.  A Holy Priest.

Have you ever accidentally crossed “swords” with another man?  Yeah that’s the feeling two Disc priests have when they try to Power Word: Shield someone who has another Disc priest’s Weakened Soul debuff on them.

So why would I want to give my guild the offer of “Hey guyz, I know you’ve already got a Disc priest going, but choose me so you can have a second!”  I know in theory it could work, but I realize the reality of my situation meant that I could offer more if I was Holy.

Act III:  Hard = Better = TWSS.

Let’s be brutally honest.  “I hurd Holy wuz hard.”

That’s one of my main reasons for speccing it.  No seriously.  It is what it is.

When you peel away a layer of skin and get down to the all the fun nerves, veins, and muscles, there’s an attraction I have towards Holy.

I know Priests in general always get thought of as having the biggest “toolbox”. (“Is that a toolbox in your pocket or are you just happy to heal me?”)  We have 1894 different heals in our medicine cabinet and we love to let everyone know about it.  (srs my mouse has like 12 separate heals bound to it.  Because I’m better than you…)

Then when you factor in the options such as Circle of Healing, Chakra and Holy Word: Shazaam spells give you as a Holy Priest you’ve got a ton of “extra” healing options and methods.

I wanted to actually “learn” to heal instead of wank my way through encounters as I did in Wrath.  While it seems like Disc’s single target output is higher in raids at 85, Holy’s multi-target heals and abilities blow away their Disc counterparts.  I want to be a RAID healer.

Circle of Healing (yes it scales sucktastically at 85 right now), Serendipity stacked Prayer of Healing, glyphed Prayer of Healing, Prayer of Mending, Holy Word: Sanctuary, and ECHOS OF YOUR MOMMA’S FREAKING LIGHT are all awesomely tempting to me.

My ego cannot be contained anymore by being the guy the makes one bar stay full by being bubbled or only moving one bar at a time.  Now with me being Holy “all your bars, are belong to me!!!”.  I now heal 8931 people at once with a key click.


“You want it all but you can’t have it
It’s in your face but you can’t grab it
What is it?
It’s it.”  -Faith No More

There is no magic “Holy is superior to Disc” bullet for me.  It’s something that I want to do in order to learn a new method of healing, provide a unique role for my guild, and play with new abilities that I’ve never been able to use before.

Once I’m done using my Shadow spec to level I fully expect to have both a Holy spec and a Discipline spec for healing again.  I just *feel* like I as a player can get more enjoyment and functionality out of Holy right now then I could Disc.


Interesting read by Zan.  I don’t agree with it 100%, but if I did it would be boring.

Dr. Holy MD

Posted in Instances, Preizt, Walk-Throughs, WoW by mrfenris on December 17, 2010

I have healed my first 2 normal 80-83 dungeons.  I am an expert.

Not really of course, but I did lose my Cataclysm cherry.  So yay me.

Prior to actually healing the dungeons, I wasn’t “scared” per say, but instead I was cautious and curious, like a man who knows better than to look “down there” while his wife is pushing a big-headed baby out, but the man does anyway knowing he’s not going to like what he sees.  (All ours were “big”, 8lbs 6oz, 9lbs 4oz, and our 35 weeks pre-mature baby was 8lbs 11oz.)

I am notorious for being stubborn and “slow” when it comes to preparing.  I will not budge until my UI is perfect, my spells are properly keybound, and I have the time to give something my full attention.  Some people rush off in with a newly trained spell still dangling by its umbilical cord after hastily being placed on their cluttered action bar.  Not I.  Everything has its proper place and I won’t go try it out until I’m positive that I’m satisfied with its binding, power aura, or its placement.

I spent most of my limited playtime on Wednesday respeccing from Disc to Holy (more on that at another time), rebinding ALL my healing spells to my mouse, setting up my UI configuration, and practicing the new bindings.  I was too tired to run anything yet that night so I bagged it until I got a chance to run a few last night.

“You ain’t as green as you are young”  -John Cougar Mellencamp

So since I’ve had some awkward fumblings (I still can’t undue a bra strap unless I use my left hand) with the new instances, I figured they’re some other folks who might be in the same boat I was;  Not worried but curious if their mana can handle it.  I am not proclaiming “this is how it is”.  I am only sharing a few impressions I had from my runs.  I realize that things are not going to stay the same.

I got a whisper from a bunch of old guildies/friends that had formed their own guild after our old one split and they asked me if I wanted to heal.  We had an 80 Prot Pally, Rogue, Hunter, pug, the DPS ranging from 81-83, and me obviously on my newly minted 81 Holy Priest.   I hopped on Mumble and off we went.

Now.  I am in a large portion of T9 gear + ICC 10 man epics, my gear has never been the greatest but my Priest only became my main at the end of Wrath.  I still had Heroic gear in a slot or two.  I definitely think it helped out in regards to the fact that I wasn’t a green and blue cobbled together brand new lvl 80.

Overall Impressions-

Mana at my gear level and given the competent players we had last night, was a non-issue.  I used Shadow Fiend but I did it proactively to try to get into the habit.  I never dipped under 70% mana at all and only needed to drink to top off before bosses.

I underhealed people.  If they were at 90% health or more, I ignored them in terms of directly healing them.  If they were DPS and above 50% of health I only cast Heal on them.  I never Renewed a non-tank at anytime.  Anything under that I used Flash Heals on them or obviously AOE heals if 3+ people were taking heavy damage.  Basically I did not cast CoH or PoH unless 3 people could benefit from it.

Get used to Heal.  It doesn’t “seem” like it hits for a lot (think mine crits for 9-10k) but it’s about sustaining health it’s not used to pull 25% health bars out of holes.  You’ll drop it on your tank and their life bar will barely budge BUT don’t fret because your tank will not generally take two back to back hits that will squish him like the old days.

I honestly stayed in Chakra: Serenity almost all night.  Renew refreshed via Heal was enough to keep my tank above 80% on most trash pulls.  When he’d take a spike, I could stabilize him with a Flash Heal followed by a Greater Heal.  I actually had a hard time keeping Serendipity up because 1.  I am new to Holy and 2.  There wasn’t enough damage to warrant Flash Heals on a regular basis.

AOE damage didn’t seem to be much of an issue except on boss fights and the one mob I’ll mention later.  Circle of Healing was enough to tweak everyone’s bar back up.  Prayer of Healing saw action if I saw 3+ dip under 60% health.  Good gravy, Prayer of Healing rocks when you’ve got 2 stacks of Serendipity up.  I found myself under using Prayer of Mending (I know, shame on me right?)  Mostly my mistake was caused by me just focusing on too many new things.  I used to have a set routine on my Discipline priest pre-pull, but now it’s all new to me since I don’t want to pre-cast PoM to activate my Chakra: Sanctuary and I don’t want to cast Renew before the pull either.  It’s just something that will come with practice.

I lost two players each on both runs.  It happened during boss fights, and a few of them we’re my mistakes.  I’ll get into details below.

To summarize the overall healing: Holy is a blast.  The fact that you have 9492 million spells to choose from excites me.  Mana is not an issue, YET.  You will have time to sit there and DPS from time to time.  It was not “hard”.  However it can get ugly and the fact that we had good players went a long way to making it seem easier than it could have been.  You will sometimes see people drop to 40% health and fall into the Wrath mind-set that they are already dead.  Not true.  You can get them back.  Lastly, you can still power heal through stuff if needed as this stage of the game.  This will change in a few levels IMO.

A couple of details that might take the edge off.

Blackrock Caverns-

Used zero CC this instance.  The trash pulls before the boss were unremarkable.  I lost two people on the first boss due to a stupid noob mistake of using my old Prayer of Healing keybinding (which now currently binds Dispel Magic) and two people got fried in AOE damage.  (I’m sitting there Shift-Right Clicking going “WTF where is my Prayer of Healing castbar!?!?” over and over.  Noob.)

A note:  We did have some mob/targeting issues here, where people could get LoS for some reason and once I couldn’t get LoS on my tank for no apparent reason.  Dunno.

More trash to the second boss.  Big Dragonkin guys will do some spike damage on the tank.  Heal, G. Heal it or Flash Heal for Serendipity stacks.  Very little AOE damage on trash overall here.

Second boss, Beam-lady-thingy.  You can stand in the beams to avoid the adds.  Just rotate before your stacks get too high.  I honestly don’t remember this being hard to heal at all.

Third boss, Lava-Slime-Big-Dude.  You’ll have to AoE heal a bit here.  I was in Chakra: Serenity, but next time I’ll do it in Sanctuary.  I didn’t “sweat” on this boss, but I was seeing lots of 50% bars in the party.

Fourth boss, the Corehound and the poor puppies.  There’s a fear.  Meh.  I went Chakra: Sanctuary for AoE heals and it was unremarkable in terms of being hard.

Last boss.  I don’t even remember healing it.   Seemed like a Heal and Spank.

Throne of Tides-

The trash is harder in here in my opinion.  You see more damage spikes on both the tanks and AOE damage on the party.  We used CC on two pulls.

As far as trash goes, the little Goblin Hunters can be a pain in the ass if you’ve never seen them.  They will hit the tank really hard on the pull, so a pre-pull PoM and Bubble will smooth it out.  I also just ended up Fading and precasting heals while the tank rounded them all up.  I did have to spam 2-3 flash heals on the tank before the goblins started dying and I could go into a Heal mode.  There’s also a version that does a knock back with hardly any damage like the first set.

There is also a large mob the deals massive AOE damage after it tosses you in the air (Note:  Use CoH or Holy Nova while your in the air if you need too).  It’s a Faceless model if I remember right, and it’ll cause you some grief if your party doesn’t run out of the area where it’s pounding the ground.  2-3 back to back Prayer of Healings will even it back out.  Don’t be an idiot and stand in the AOE and casting heals like me.  There is one particular pull of these guys where you get two at once.  Pop a CD accordingly ( I think I Guardian Spirited the tank) and I probably should have hit Divine Hymn.  A suck ass group could wreck your day on this pull.

Note:  Do NOT get ahead of your tank in any hallways.  There are adds that burst in from the sides.  There is also a gauntlet event but I found the party takes more AOE damage due to stuff on the ground then the tank.

First boss, Naga-chic.  Meh, don’t remember her hitting unnaturally hard, but beware her big blue geysers that blow out of the ground.  If they hit a player whose already damaged get them topped off ASAP while their in the air with something big or Bubble them.  When they land they take a bunch of damage.  Precasting FTW.  Boss has adds.  Just Fade as needed and run to your tank (watch possible cleaves *shrugs*)

Second boss, Pussy-Fist (It’s a long story).  Okay I was warned by my tank that this guy can “one shot a tank” and he can.  He will mangle your tank to about 35%-40% health in a blink of an eye due to an ability he does.  I would recommend a tank CD on the first one and your CD on the second one.  I lost my tank here due to me being midcast on a DPS and not cancelling it.  This is a BURN fight.  Our Rogue ended up tanking him (and she barely needed any heals) and we killed him.

“Third” boss, The-Guy-Doing-A-“69”-With-An-Octopus.  Meh.  Single target heals seemed to do the trick.  He will “mind control” a player and must be DPSed, once he jumps off make sure to dispel any lingering effects.

“Last” boss, Adds.  This encounter pumped up my HPS due to all the AOE healing.  There’s a phase where you go “around” the room avoiding an AOE on the ground.  It hurts when people stand in it.  I don’t really remember much about it.

“We’re going to party
Karamu, fiesta, forever
Come on and sing along!”  -Lionel Richie

Not a fantastic write-up (It was almost 2am when I logged and I was up at 5:20am), but it might take the edge off  a few early attempts.

I’ve been thinking of doing a series of healcentric walk-throughs once I start running these on Heroic.  They would be 10x more detailed, concise, and structured then this little blurb.  I remember when I made the transition into healing I found the healing community very helpful, but at times it was beyond my understanding and past the content I was seeing for the first time from a healing point of view.  Not everyone was a Fail Angel from back in Molten Core.

Dunno.   But I do know is I can’t WAIT to get back into some five mans and get some sweet-sweet Chakra love.


Posted in Gaming, Preizt, Riffs, WoW by mrfenris on December 16, 2010

Overall…are “good” DPS players finally getting some respect?

Because by and large you get players (mostly always being tanks and healers) who lump all DPS together as a bunch of mindless bots who exist for the sole purpose of sucking, annoying said “real” players, and providing fodder for titties everywhere.  (If your new as some of you are to this titty, the word “blog” is not allowed here.  It’s a stupid word and therefore replaced with another stupid word.  Titty.)

I’ll tell you a dirty secret.  Under geared or insecure tanks and healers LOVE awesome over the top 84228k DPS players.  Forget aggro (which you did in Wrath anyway) if you had 3-18 big dog DPS in your fives or raids you didn’t sweat near as much.  Everyone liked to gnash their teeth at their DPS-mates in general, but if they could lay the smack down then they could completely trivialize an encounter or mechanic.  You could blow your cooldowns and prop up your under geared ass for the first big damage mechanic because you KNEW there wasn’t going to second one because by then the encounter would be over thanks to the deeps.

There are a lot of tanks and healers out there that got propped up by good DPS and they don’t even realize it.

“No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder
‘Cause I’m bad gettin’ bolder – cold getting colder
”  -Beastie Boys

Over at Specced fo’ Drama, Ana repeated aloud a comment made to her by a friend.  /cast Copy Paste rank 1 #show tooltip (target=targ=targoftarg=mouseoverbullshit)

“They made it so it’s much harder to play a tank/healer, and much easier to play as DPS.” -Person I do not know but I’m sure they like gravy

I’m ignoring the first part even though I agree a bit.  I mean don’t tanks and healers WANT to be special anyway?  Aren’t they gifts from heaven above, whose bottoms should be nuzzled by woodland creatures, while being fed Fig Newtons by pasty large breasted German MILFs, as the lower themselves to mix with common folk DPS?  I know I am.  “Away with you dirty Huntard!  Do not gaze upon my magnificence as I face roll my tanking rotation!  You are not fit to see my one button macro!”  (Albeit less true today they yesterwrath.)

Where was I?  Right.  German MILFs.  Gives the term “coming back to the Mutterland” a whole new meaning for me.

Now I am admittedly reading the quote without any context given.  So we don’t know if it’s about Wrath vs Catastyle, a general comment, or a quip made in response to another quip.  That’s fine, because I’m not PvPing the original poster in a “internets idea warz”.  I’m just using the said quote to riff on my own points.

Wrath vs Cata:  DPSing got “harder” only in regards to undergeared healers and tanks at this PARTICULAR stage in the expansion.  Do you really think raid gear won’t trivialize heroics?  Because unless Blizzard changes the ENTIRE game’s “time played = better upgrade” design, then we are going to be near Wrath levels at the end of the expansion.  Doubt me?  Tell me how scary the “new” ICC five mans were on heroic once everyone and their mother had welfare gear?  They weren’t.

We could say DPSing got easier in Cataclysm simply just due to game changes made by Blizzard in 4.infinity.  Now you have abilities that help you manage your resources better like moving combo points for Rogues, using some abilities on the run, and not clipping your dots, built into the core game-play.  Nothing made a sadder panda then a old Rogue who just worked his ass off to get his 3  debuffs up on a trash mob, stack 4-5 combo points,  and then see some huntard Kill Shot it before the Rogue can get his finishing move off.  And people wondered why Rogues cried salty, hatey tears over the Fan of Knives nerf?  (God it was sick though).

Furthermore it could be said that DPSing got easier in Cataclysm because Blizzard introduced “helping hands” likes the Power Aura style procs that you can get from abilities.  Before it was only Power Aura junkies that would get such special treatment.  Now whenever you the lab rat press the right buttons, in the right order, magical sparkles shoot from your fingers to light up which abilities you “should” press next.  You get rewarded by the big neon sign that says “HEY DUMBASS YOU’VE GOT A PROC & MOMMA LOVES YOU!!!”.

(Oooo.  On the flip side can someone make an addon that gives a player an electric shock every time they flub their optimal rotation? “Ring that bell and drool you deeps bisches!”)

Or maybe tanking and healing are not really HARDER but they just have consequences that have a more severe impact on the party.

Did you forget to pop shield wall during his enrage period.  Oh sorry.  Your party all wiped.

Did you mistime your Hymn of Hope?  Oh sorry your party died.

Did you fire off Arcane Shot instead of Kill Command?  Oh sorry you lost 300 DPS for this encounter.


“I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee”  -Carly Simon

I no longer care about this post.

However I do not cast dispersion on my DPS brothers and sisters.  I do not cast (a lot) of dispersion fellows tanks and healers.  (I can’t help it.  Anything that’s put on a pedestal demands to be pulled down and smashed into a million pieces as a fundamental rule of the “thing which cannot be spoken of”.  And trust me, I’ve put myself waaaay high on that tank pedestal before.)

Instead I say “What the fuck?  Does it really matter?”

It’s a sodding video game.  (Can only Brits, Aussies, NewZews, and other folks get away with saying “sodding”?)

And the fact that we can sit here are talk about how hard a game is speaks volume to the leisure in our lives.  And now like the true hedonist I am, I’m off to eat an Apple Hostess Fruit Pie, play with the heated mirrors in my work truck, and hope to God I come across an orgy of halfway decent looking women with horrible standards and/or an insatiable lust for balding fat guys.

I’m in like Flynn.

Suck Less

Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on December 14, 2010

I have tried starting this post about seven different times.  I can’t figure out how to start a “helpful” post.  I am not proclaiming to be a pro (“those who know, do not speak”) so here it is.  There’s no way to do this without sound pretentious.  I don’t mean to be.  Fucking handle it.

Wanksta to Gangsta in five simple steps:

You.  Suck less.  Read.

Right now is the perfect time to break some old bad WoW habits.  I know you’re all rolling a million alts, that you’ll play to level ten before your one night stand is over with them, so here’s what I want you to do.

The next alt you start, promise yourself you’re going to make an honest attempt to improve your game.  You might think your little female Worgan level 1 has a short future ahead of her, since your just getting your furry fix, but I promise you these habits can have a big impact on every single character you play.  If you don’t care about improving your game and you like your bad habits then stop reading.  However if your interested in being a little bit better at this silly video game we all play then keep reading.

1. Unbind your “A”, “S”, and “D”.  Congrats.  You no longer keyboard turner.  In fact you are now  forced to move with your mouse.  Get used to it.  It gives you a faster reaction time, frees up some handy keys to bind to abilities, and gives you better performance in the bed room.  “Q”, “W”, “E”, and your mouse are your new best friend.  It’s not as scary as you want it to be.

2.  Bind “like” abilities to the same keys on every character.  I am not one of those players who bind every single ability I have.  Instead I keep my rotation bound to 1-5 on every single character.  More importantly I keep abilities like ranged/executes bound to the same key.  No matter what character I’m playing  I never have to hunt for my Kill Shot, Hammer of Wrath, or Death Coil.  I just press “R” and it fires off.  Also bind your “Oh shit” abilities to your mouse buttons.  B4 and B5 taunt on my tank, CC on my DPS, or cast things like Divine Hymn on my priest.  You know that guy that saves the raid due to quick action and gets all the chics?  Yeah be that guy and screw  a cheerleader.  (EDIT:  Sorry didn’t mean to leave the ladies out.  You can screw a cheerleader too.  Then email me the vid.)

3. Don’t overload your abilities.  Don’t go and bind every ability you own to your keyboard, hide your bars, and then try and be l33t.  Instead bind a couple of keys at a time.  Start with your normal rotation, then add new abilities slowly as you get more and more comfortable.  Also make sure you PRACTICE your new keybinds before you get into a serious situation like a dungeon or raid.  When you’re sitting in LFG waiting for your queue to pop go over and pound a training dummy for a bit.  Get used to the rhythm and flow of your FCFS “rotation”.

4. Play accordingly to the situation.  Rotations you use while questing aren’t always the best to use in five mans.  When out questing on my Mage I don’t mind pulling a mob with a big ass Pyroblast cast that takes 7394 seconds to get off.  However if I’m in an instance there’s no way I’d start a rotation on trash with Pyroblast.  It takes too long to cast and I’d get it and maybe an instant off before the mob is dead.  This lowers my DPS because a.  Pyroblast has an insane cast time which I’m stationary and doing nothing, b.  the mob is dead before the DoT component finishes, and c. longer cast times = less spells cast = less Arcane Missile procs.  PvPing?  Then deal your damage in bursts and don’t worry about conserving mana.

5. Put yourself in a position to succeed.  You know those “pro” videos everyone watches to “learn” a fight?  The ones where people wank over a pro-player’s  gear, numbers per second, and guild rank?  Yeah nine times out of ten, your missing the most important aspect of their success.  Their positioning.  Don’t be slacker #3 whose sitting their faithfully hammering out their rotation to maintain their numbers when you need to be getting out of LOS or out of the path on environmentals.

How many times have you seen players kicking ass on the meters only to stand in the middle of an avoidable attack and die?  Good players are good, not because of their gear but because they put their characters in the best position to succeed for the encounters.  Backs to walls, behind your target, pre-emptively moving.  These are all things you are responsible for in addition to “making your numbers”.


I’m uncomfortable trying to be helpful.  I come from a long line of people who say “oh for Christ’s sake just let me do it myself!” and shove people out of the way.

If you don’t like the Goblin starter city just keep playing.  The Lost Isles are great.  Anytime you strap rockets to chickens it’s bound to be a good time.


Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on December 13, 2010

It’s installing now.

I might even get to play tonight.

Busy busy.  Plowing and I have to empty all my work blanket accounts yet today before there closed for the year.  See I’m not like other supervisors, I actually find work to do when my own program is shut down for the 2010 season.

Think I can put a PS3 on our company Lowe’s card?


“Honestly Mr. Mayor the Playstation 3 is vital to our city’s day to day functioning….”

I dunno.  He seems like a fun guy who might enjoy a little Black Ops action.


Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on December 8, 2010

I have not even installed Cataclysm yet.

Other then having a fairly good grasp of the 4.yourlifewillneverbethesame Priest changes, I am “unprepared” for Catalcysm.  And I don’t care.

I’m not soapboxing and touting my superiority that I am not a drooling keyboard smashing fanboy/fanchic like you most likely are at the moment, as you furiously hack and slash your way to 85, and go “riding dirty” around the old ‘hood of Azeroth.

Because honestly, I wish I could be getting my face smashed in and my ego crushed in the new dungeons right now.  Blah.  One day I’ll have a life again, and then I can waste it on playing video games again.  (I’m shooting for Friday.)

“Wide open road of my future now…
Its looking fucking narrow”  -Operation Ivy

I’m sitting there today at work and trying to decide what alt I want to work on.  I’ve decided my main is of course my Healy Priest (Disco/Shadow atm) and I’m going to roll a Goblin Prot Warrior to get back into tanking, but I can’t decide which on of my level 80 alts I’d like to bring into my new guild.

My first choices are my Orc Huntard (Beastmaster/Marksman) or my Orc Death Knight (Unholy/Blood).  My frosted side says I should level the DK because we are at the “early sex” stage in our relationship.  Under the covers  it’s all exciting and new.  I’m seeing her runes for the first time and she can Death Coil like a machine.  (I like it when she keeps her socks on BTW, and it’s even better if she’s wearing tennis shoes.  But only tennis shoes, no other shoes work.)

Yet I kind of miss my old girl, the Huntard.  We’ve got a wealth of experience and knowledge with each other.  I know what to do in every situation.  I know to Aspect of the Cheetah and speed up when I need to or I can Frost Trap and slow it all down if the situation calls for it.  She’s not as new and exciting but man we work good together.  I even let her take her socks off.   (Psst.  I don’t like bare feet.  They make me physically ill.)

My Death Knight can dps or tank if I ever need them too, but I feel like my Hunter has so much for raid utility, especially in this supposedly Neo-CC (Ghostcrawler’s Brand New Deal?) era we’re entering.

Any sane person would just play whichever class they have the most fun playing, but that’s just it…I have fun being USEFUL.  Tanking, healing, DPSing, I like it all because I try to be good at it and provide something beneficial to the raid.

“Yeah, you know Katie Mae is a good girl, folks, and she don’t run around at night”  -Lightnin’ Hopkins

And since I was thinking about alts, I started wondering why I can’t have an alt wife.  I love my wife.  She knows this (most days).  She’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to have little screwed up children with.  She’s the only person I could take care of when their old (sorry mom, lemme show you something behind the shed…).

But man, we get tired of each other sometimes.  I mean why can’t I have a lower level alt wife around like lvl 20 or something.  She’d be unguilded so I wouldn’t have to worry about her having any children or other annoying life wrecking hang ups.  Because of her lower level she wouldn’t have as many abilities as my main wife but what skills she did have would be new and fresh to me.  My alt wife would also ding and level, which is something my main level 80 wife stopped doing a long time ago.

I could be the more experienced, higher level raider who could boost my alt wife through lowbie dungeons.  I know she’s just attracted to my epic gear and my gold slush fund, but it would be a mutual situation of two people using each other.  I know one day I’d sit her down over coffee and tell her it was time for her to enter LFG and strike out on her own.  That she was too good for me and needed to experience content on her own.

So why can’t I have an alt wife?  If my main wife got tired of her she could always just show up and one shot her.


Oh btw.  I don’t care if my wife had her own alt husband.  Srs.  Just stay off my side of the bed and don’t ever touch my cigars, booze, and stay out of my spare guild bank.  You can touch my wife but not my enchanting mats.

Chi-chi Monkey

Posted in General Me by mrfenris on December 1, 2010

Spinks is right.  Stop.  People always think the world revolves around them.  I realized today that I have 5 level 80 characters.  Yes I’m sure some folks have more.

But I also realized today that I only ever play two at a time.

So are the other three going to waste?

If I say “yes they are going to waste”, that means I’m viewing them as a time investment on which I’m getting no return.

If that’s the case wouldn’t it be better to sell them, especially if I plan on never playing them again?

But I don’t view my characters as an investment other than a colossal waste of time that I’ll want back when I’m on my death bed surrounded by my resentful children, and I’m wishing I had spent the /played time looking up the skirts of 41-year-old brunettes that have either a slightly lazy eye or a few crooked teeth.

A note:  No.  I don’t plan on selling my characters.  Unless you wanna buy em.

“I’ve got a song, I ain’t got no melody
I’ma gonna sing it to my friends”  -Billy Preston

My son has some bullshit feel good project (WTF can’t you just go to school to LEARN anymore?!?!?!) this week at his school.

Each day they reveal something about themselves to the class.  (Who wants to see my boys?)  Monday was a poster with his likes and dislikes.  Yesterday I had to write a letter telling a little about him so his teacher could read it out loud.

I let my wife read it.

wife: You should add more stuff like “and his parents will always  love him, no matter what…”

me: I’m trying to get the kid laid not beat up.

I remember being younger than my son and going to bars with my dad.  His rugby club had one bar they pretty much owned and we kids all played together and sang along to the club songs.  It was always something I looked forward too, then my brother was born and my dad blew apart both his knee caps and got responsible (kinda-not-really).  Sucks.

I ebayed Bioshock and Bioshock 2 both brand new with shipping for under 30 bucks this week.  I know what I’m doing this weekend.

My new hobby consists of holding my two month old up in front of my face and speaking for him in a high pitched voice, saying such things as…

“I found you miss new booty.”

“I’m Eazy E, I got bitches galore.”

“You down with OMB?  Yeah you know me.”

…to his mother.  OMB stands for “Other Mommies Boobies” btw.

And to round out the kid news.  I have renamed him the “Chi-chi Monkey”.  1.  He looks like a monkey.  2.  He’s always on the chi-chis.

My daughter has done nothing worthy of note lately, other than beating up her older brother and biting herself on the arm just to show me the teeth marks.  *sigh* Maybe the other two will be successful.

“they were all in love with dying
they were drinkin from a fountain
that was pouring like an avalanche comin down the mountain.”  -Butthole Surfers

I spent most of Monday wondering where I exist.  If you think of it in physical terms, it’s in my living room, sitting on the couch holding a baby and watching The Human Centipede.  (Boring btw.  I shut it off.)

But if your speaking of the things that can not be spoke of, I guess I exist in the hearts and memories of the people around me.  Sometimes it’s just a light fingerprint on a random person.  Sometimes it’s in sharp fragments driven into someone once close to me.

I suppose when I’m physically dead and gone, that’s the parts of me that live on for a generation or two.  After that, then it’s just slight nudges in lives of my great-great-grandchildren.  Little marks I’ve made by unconscious beliefs and habits my children’s children picked up by osmosis.  Then eventually it (and I) are gone forever.

Genes get washed out, memories fade, traditions die.

But I think that’s the ultimate pinnacle of existing at all.  The moment you don’t any longer and you go back to being that which cannot be spoke of once again.

So maybe that’s the only time we exist in our purest form.  Once we’re born we start drifting and being shaped and lose our purity.  Maybe when we’ve actually got a physical presence we really lose contact with the true nature of our existence.

Doesn’t that make our “existence” our un-existence?

There are times when you should just chew your food and be mindful I suppose.  I can exist forever in the warmth of a hug and in a laugh shared with my kids.

I suppose the moment we even ponder existing at all is the moment we fail.

Better to just be then to be something.