The Gray Place

Chi-chi Monkey

Posted in General Me by mrfenris on December 1, 2010

Spinks is right.  Stop.  People always think the world revolves around them.  I realized today that I have 5 level 80 characters.  Yes I’m sure some folks have more.

But I also realized today that I only ever play two at a time.

So are the other three going to waste?

If I say “yes they are going to waste”, that means I’m viewing them as a time investment on which I’m getting no return.

If that’s the case wouldn’t it be better to sell them, especially if I plan on never playing them again?

But I don’t view my characters as an investment other than a colossal waste of time that I’ll want back when I’m on my death bed surrounded by my resentful children, and I’m wishing I had spent the /played time looking up the skirts of 41-year-old brunettes that have either a slightly lazy eye or a few crooked teeth.

A note:  No.  I don’t plan on selling my characters.  Unless you wanna buy em.

“I’ve got a song, I ain’t got no melody
I’ma gonna sing it to my friends”  -Billy Preston

My son has some bullshit feel good project (WTF can’t you just go to school to LEARN anymore?!?!?!) this week at his school.

Each day they reveal something about themselves to the class.  (Who wants to see my boys?)  Monday was a poster with his likes and dislikes.  Yesterday I had to write a letter telling a little about him so his teacher could read it out loud.

I let my wife read it.

wife: You should add more stuff like “and his parents will always  love him, no matter what…”

me: I’m trying to get the kid laid not beat up.

I remember being younger than my son and going to bars with my dad.  His rugby club had one bar they pretty much owned and we kids all played together and sang along to the club songs.  It was always something I looked forward too, then my brother was born and my dad blew apart both his knee caps and got responsible (kinda-not-really).  Sucks.

I ebayed Bioshock and Bioshock 2 both brand new with shipping for under 30 bucks this week.  I know what I’m doing this weekend.

My new hobby consists of holding my two month old up in front of my face and speaking for him in a high pitched voice, saying such things as…

“I found you miss new booty.”

“I’m Eazy E, I got bitches galore.”

“You down with OMB?  Yeah you know me.”

…to his mother.  OMB stands for “Other Mommies Boobies” btw.

And to round out the kid news.  I have renamed him the “Chi-chi Monkey”.  1.  He looks like a monkey.  2.  He’s always on the chi-chis.

My daughter has done nothing worthy of note lately, other than beating up her older brother and biting herself on the arm just to show me the teeth marks.  *sigh* Maybe the other two will be successful.

“they were all in love with dying
they were drinkin from a fountain
that was pouring like an avalanche comin down the mountain.”  -Butthole Surfers

I spent most of Monday wondering where I exist.  If you think of it in physical terms, it’s in my living room, sitting on the couch holding a baby and watching The Human Centipede.  (Boring btw.  I shut it off.)

But if your speaking of the things that can not be spoke of, I guess I exist in the hearts and memories of the people around me.  Sometimes it’s just a light fingerprint on a random person.  Sometimes it’s in sharp fragments driven into someone once close to me.

I suppose when I’m physically dead and gone, that’s the parts of me that live on for a generation or two.  After that, then it’s just slight nudges in lives of my great-great-grandchildren.  Little marks I’ve made by unconscious beliefs and habits my children’s children picked up by osmosis.  Then eventually it (and I) are gone forever.

Genes get washed out, memories fade, traditions die.

But I think that’s the ultimate pinnacle of existing at all.  The moment you don’t any longer and you go back to being that which cannot be spoke of once again.

So maybe that’s the only time we exist in our purest form.  Once we’re born we start drifting and being shaped and lose our purity.  Maybe when we’ve actually got a physical presence we really lose contact with the true nature of our existence.

Doesn’t that make our “existence” our un-existence?

There are times when you should just chew your food and be mindful I suppose.  I can exist forever in the warmth of a hug and in a laugh shared with my kids.

I suppose the moment we even ponder existing at all is the moment we fail.

Better to just be then to be something.


One Response

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  1. Irmie said, on December 16, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Srs. Why not just include that philosophical thinking bit in a paper and send it to school with your son? Then he can avoid any further ‘feel good’ work as it was worthy of a full semester of thoughts.

    I’m off to ponder my existence and its purpose.

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