The Gray Place

Nada

Posted in Gaming, General Me, WoW by mrfenris on December 27, 2010

I am perhaps the “worst” gamer in the world.

I actually enjoy the games I play.

My wife totally fucked me over by getting a new coffee maker.  I liked our old one.  I knew EXACTLY how to make the coffee taste like battery acid, Guinness stout, and aspirin.  Now it’s all “clean” tasting.  Selfish wench, this new one is all fancy.

I have not even been trying to level in Cataclysm and I am almost 84 on my main.  Seriously, I’m barely even playing right now.  Most nights I don’t even log in till after 10:30 pm, the baby is napping (sleep ha!), the chores are done, and I’m getting my second wind.

I’ve run quite a few dungeons now and it’s still my preferred place to level.  Questing is something I do when I want just mind numbing “fun”.

SIDENOTE: I will never level a pure DPS spec again.  45 minute Q times.  Go fuck yourself.  The end.

Unlike some folks who haven’t even run heroics, but will go into great detail to tell you their thoughts on them, based on their observations of other people’s opinions, I will not opine about heroic dungeons and my thoughts on them.  However I am looking forward to them greatly, especially seeing just how hard a bad pug can make me work healing a normal run.

I’m at an odd spot in my guild.  I do not run instances with them, due to my short playing availability and the fact that they “all” are level 85 and doing heroics.  Some folks would bitch about that but I don’t.  I like my guild quite a bit and my availability is a “me” problem.  Not theirs.

I’ve got a group of friends I usually can tag a run along with if I don’t want to subject myself to the brain drain that a pug group can bring.  Besides it’s nice to sit back on Mumble and chat with players you’ve played with for three years.

“Comin’ down the mountain,
One of many children ,
Everybody has
Their own opinion.”  -Jane’s Addiction

I am hungry for fried chicken.

It is my supreme position and official party line that chickens are reason enough alone for an alien species to conquer us.  They are small.  They cluck.  And they taste delicious when fried with a salty/spicy coating.  If I was the Most-Tallest of an Alien planet I would order Earth’s enslavement and subjugation of their tasty poultry.

Jesus Christ do you realize how amazing, good fried chicken really is?  You can eat it hot with its juices flowing across your tongue or you can eat it cold the next day, meat ripped from the bones sprinkled with salt and pepper.  I could eat it everyday.

“Oh, such tacos will I give!”  -Invader Zim

I never level trade skills this early in an expansion.  1.  It’s boring to me.  2.  It takes time (of which I do not have).  3.  I’d rather charge outrageous prices on the mats I gather while I level and sell them to people who 1.  Don’t find trades boring.  2.  Have a ton of time.  3.  Don’t mind getting bent over by my rogue bank alt atop the Org Auction House and paying for 1 piece of cloth at a time.

I never really *need* money in WoW.  I always have anywhere from 10-20k at any given time.  I only try to “make” money when I need it and then it’s off to the auction house for a week and I’m flush again.  I see no reason for me to perform an action that I don’t enjoy, in a video game I do enjoy, just to have a huge stockpile of make-believe gold that I’ll never spend.  I just need enough to repair, raid, and support any new alts that I roll.  Anything else is a waste to me.

“Or better yet a terminator,
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Try’n to play me out like as if my name was Sega.”  -House of Pain

The Xbox 360 Kinect is a huge hit at our house.  I have not tried it except to set it up for the wife and 2/3 kids.  I will admit I don’t know what’s more exciting… laughing at my wife for almost falling over while playing it because she’s a klutz or channeling Benny Hill and leering at her “jiggly” bits as she dances and hops around.  I hoped aloud to her that they make a stripping game for it.  Naturally it would come with a pole.

In five years I will have the greatest video game collection in the world.  It will look exactly like your collection does right now in the present.  I have lots of theories.  One of them being that women are only sexually appealing to me during the ages of 18-29 and then again at 45-60.  And yet another, that a good game “today” will be a good game “tomorrow”.

Which is why I enjoy buying 3 new games for 30 bucks on eBay and putting them in a growing stack in the office cabinet to be played at a later date.  I am not a “cheap” person.  I have no problem playing good money for a good product.  However due to the limiting factor in my life (which is my job and family sucking away my soul and destroying any semblance I had of self-awareness, until I am an empty husk fueled only by coffee with Splenda and a lingering hope that I will either die soon or endure until they all divorce me/move out.)  I do not have a ton of time to play the newest hottest game.

Instead I am more inclined to be the guy that says “Man I just got Gears of War and it is a pretty cool game.” at a gamer gathering where everyone is wanking over Final Fantasy IVIVIXIXII for the Playstation 7.

I figure in about 10 years I’ll finally get to play all the discount PC and Xbox 360 games that I buy.

Maybe I’ll be fighting for life on my death-bed when I’m eighty (dear God I hope I don’t live that long) and the doctors will consult with my grieving kids…

Kids:  “Is he getting worse doctor?”

Doc:  “No he’s in bad shape but he’s still clinging on.  He must be holding on because of your love and support.”

Me:  *thinks* “Not really.  I’d just really want to play that HALO: Reach game I bought 50 years ago.  I only paid 10 bucks for it.”

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