Half a Heroic: SFK
See we here (and by “we” I mean just me) at The Gray Place (I linked myself LOFL) don’t believe in being the best you can be. We don’t want you squeezing out an extra .1337 DPS by changing all your gems to the new epic hotness for your ilvl 300 gear. Instead we advocate using Wrath gems because their cheaper and ALMOST as good. We want you to save your money to pimp out your pre-raid gear.
We don’t want you to slave over forums, elitist jerks, wowhead, and youtube to find the hidden Theory of Everything for WoW so you can be a true Kung Fu Master (in a video game *snort*). Instead we want you to do simple things to make you a better player like key binding, understanding the encounter, and making smart choices during said encounter.
Simply put, we (and by “we” I still mean, just me) want you to put in the minimal amount of your real life’s time into this game and get the maximum output into the game itself. Your real life is far to precious and should be spent eating pie, petting puppies, fucking billy goats, and other things you enjoy.
So all that being said. In the grand tradition of being a “casual” WoW player I bring you…
Half a Heroic: Shadowfang Keep style. (Largely written for Holy Priests btw, since that’s all I really give a shake about atm.)
First. Why start with SFK? Because as a priest you wear the equivalent to gauze bandages. No srs. Your job is to stand there in presence of freaking dragons and wear something completely flammable. Cloth! Cloth brings you to SFK. There are 5 cloth drops alone in SFK. Sure some don’t have spirit on them but if you whine enough to can steal them from a Warlock (psst, they aren’t real people anyway) and reforge them. Get it into your heads. Cloth = SFK.
Second. It’s the only heroic I’ve run. Hey some of us have real lives…
Honestly if your worried about being ready for Heroic SFK I can’t give you a magic number of “OK GO!”. But myself I went in there with an equipped 227 ilvl, 1600kish spirit, and Potions of Concentration. Forget everything else. Take a handful of PoC with you. It makes your life 10x easier and their dirt cheap.
The trash is largely boring in the front half of SFK. However I would like to mention that Mindless Horrors have a Fear and can drop some damage on melee party members. They hit pretty hard and can be easily pulled as a single mob (which I’d recommend for now).
First time I went to SFK I didn’t understand this boss and laid there dead on the floor as I watched our Rogue tank and kill him. After the lightbulb went on the next time I went through I kept everyone alive.
Forget what you’ve heard about this fight. It’s actually easy due to two facts. 1. The Stay of Execution he casts does your job for you. 2. The hard parts of the fight are other people’s problems.
This fight calls for going into Chakra: Sanctuary as it’s all AOE healing and you’ll tank him right where he’s standing. As always pre-pull you’ll want to drop your Lightwell (which won’t aggro bosses remember) off to his side so your pesky Rogue doesn’t stand on top of it. This Lightwell is extremely important in this fight because he will at one point lift everyone up in the air and “stun” them so you won’t be able to heal and reduce their health to like 1%. HOWEVER Lightwell is still clickable during this so make sure you party knows to click it when they are up in the air.
So you’ve got your LW down, your PoM on the tank, you’re in Chakra: Sexual Healing mode, and you start the encounter. Everyone is going to be clumped up pretty tight together so toss down your Holy Word: Sanctuary and then do nothing. No seriously because eventually the good Baron is going to Asphyxiate the entire party down to 1% health so don’t bother wasting your mana. Click the Lightwell while your unable to cast, Circle of Healing as soon as you land, then I toss out a Prayer of Healing and then I stop healing by and large. Don’t invest your mana in party health that your just going to lose again next phase.
In fact about the only thing you’ll be doing for the rest of the party is dispelling the Wracking Pain dot off your party. This MUST be dispelled because it does stack and will wreck your day in a hurry with all the AOE damage in this fight. Otherwise just sit back, keep your tank around 60% and your golden until the last phase of the fight. (FYI I like to drink a Potion of Con right after I heal up the party after Asphyxiate.)
At 20% the boss will start to drop large amounts of damage on everyone due to his Calamity ability. As long as you just didn’t come out of Asphyxiate you’ll push through this just fine dropping Divine Hymn and rounding out with a few spammed Prayers of Healing. Obviously you’ll want mana during this stage and you should have plenty since you’ve been under healing this whole fight.
This fight is made for Holy Priests.
Almost a complete tank and spank. I tend to do this one in Chakra: Sanctuary but I don’t suppose it really matters. The only thing that you really need to look out for in this encounter is a massive healing debuff he puts on the entire party, Cursed Veil. Don’t click the link I’ll save you some time. CV not only deals party wide damage, it also puts a debuff on the target that negates 75% of your healing. That can hurt once he starts summoning adds, your tanks being pounded on, and you find yourself in a “heal hole”. (That’s where your behind on your healing and trying to pull life bars out of the “hole”.) It seems like CV could be interrupted since it has a cast time but your deeps are probably going to be busy burning adds.
The half-hearted info I’ve found on the adds all show they don’t do anything major and therefore “aint yo problem”. Heal around it. At any rate, that CV debuff hurts and once I tried dropping a Mass Dispel and I nearly cried as my entire mana bar went away since it was about an 8k mana cost. Bleh. It’s up to you on what you want to do with the debuff, but I tried just keeping everyone topped up once it hit and just healed as normal through it. There’s a decent delay between his casts of CV so just get everyone back up around 80% and you should be fine before the next one hits. If I take it off anyone I take it off the tank.
K this is the one EVERYONE and their mother says to be afraid of. But you’re not gonna be because your no punk ass wanksta. This is like many other encounters in WoW. If you do it wrong it’ll seem impossible. If you do it right, you’ll be all “no big deal”.
The most important part of this fight are the adds. Both adds have an ability that gives Commander Rick Springvale an Unholy Power buff. Once he has three stacks he will cast some nastiness on your tank and party. The first is a cone affect and while it hits hard it’s “meh just damage” and you’re a Holy Priest and Blizzard says it’s your job to heal damage. The second ability is downright bugfuck nasty… Word of Shame. Yes it’s the same word your mom used when she found you in the bathroom with a copy of Chunky Asses. This acts as a soft enrage effect and eventually you will be out of mana and unable to heal through it.
So while adds are generally not your responsibility, these adds are Undead. Being a Priest you have some of the best Undead crowd control around in Shackle. If needed you should Shackle one of the adds while the party burns down and interrupts the other from buffing Rick Springvale. Then burn down the Shackle and the boss is basically a tank and spank.
We ended up pulling the boss all the way out to the courtyard and CCing the adds as soon as they ran out the kitchen, but your mileage may vary. In addition to the adds Springvale drops a DnD on the ground so your tank should move him out of it. Our tank just slaps his back to a wall (cutting the DnD in half) and moves him up and down the wall as needed. If you do get a second set of adds, just CC and rinse, lather, repeat. Now I’ll be honest the second time we did this boss he evade bugged, but he reset on his own sans adds and it was a yawn fest.
You MUST control/burn the adds at this stage in the game. If your party can’t do it, then their being stupid and it’s not your job to heal through stupid. Opps forgot. One of the adds has a Mortal Strike debuff too. Blah, fucking handle it.
Bang dead boss.
And now you’re at the point that I’m at. Where your happily healing along, chatting in vent, and drinking your coffee and your big legged infant decides he’s going to wake up screaming (single dad duty that night and to be fair I did prewarn the party) or your previously mentioned big legged son wakes up and decides to wet through his diaper and get his jammies and his sheets, so you apologize real quick and log off to go change sheets and help out your wife. Same spot. Both times.
The deadliest boss in all of Shadowfang Keep… my son. For the record I’ve sworn off Heroics until he starts sleeping through the night. I don’t mind ditching WoW for real life, but I don’t want to waste four other people’s time.
Tada. You can now heal Half a Heroic: SFK-style.